On and off despair drives me to sudden doubts,
To be or not to be compliant in demanding situations, bringing bouts
Of uncertainty, in my otherwise peaceful life,
Making it burdensome instead of a blissful life,
Bringing unnecessary strife.
A few people think they can give me their load of work,
Either for translations of their poetic work,
Or writing their articles thinking I am a free 24/7 rover,
Others ask for financial help when I am a pensioner,
But when it comes to their turn to give help, they don’t bother.
Streaks of moodiness takes over,
Satanic thoughts begin to hover
In MY Garden of Eden, affecting my peaceful haven.
Spring’s gaiety then seems to be a thing forbidden.
But I go forward helping, keeping my frustrations hidden.
What makes me cheerful, is hampered
And unexpected swings of mood flustered.
My days become stormy,
With confusion and irascibility,
The more so when I hear about not taking responsibility.
To be or not to be at anybody’s beck and call politely,
Hovers over my mind like clouds, overcast heavily.
It worsens when accused of imbecility,
Augmenting with people’s ingratitude and incivility
Making me indecisive to face the harsh reality.