I always loved Jesus

long-haired and bearded

deer eyed and white smile-toothed

as my elder brother

unseen

walking with me

holding my hand

calling our God father

As years went by

I drifted

finding things he said

not possible for me to do

having neither the will nor the desire to

try, even; love grown lesser

But like Buddha

whom I loved second best

he never faded

in my eyes

I always knew what he stood for

still do

and unashamed

don’t deny

that though I may be Judas

Jesus remains my lighthouse

when my ship is in storms

it’s still his name I cry out

whether help comes or doesn’t come

no longer having the right to demand

for  sweeter than any other name

is the name of this man for a single thing

to me, that when a woman

was being stoned for adultery

no one tried blaming the man then

and only he could turn the tide

and make them drop their fury.

That deed alone would earn

him this pre-eminence in my heart

not to mention his other actions.