So Secret Love

So secret love is a mistake in English
Gnosis; like saying breasts, nipples, ‘aureole’
So secret love

So secret love is when it drives you so badly
like crazy, so boldly, and you like the force
It is unreason
it’s irrational, my dove
So secret love

So secret love is when we care, always ready
we are ready to kill each other and die for each other
We are ready, we say, to commit suicide for each other
So secret love
when we eat and drink each other
So secret love
but we never see each other

So secret love is like heroin and cold turkey
like meditation, Kamasutra, locked door, turn the key
licked and lost stamps, torn, now like they have never been
So secret love –
numismatics that you hoard but forget to keep
& opened envelopes, for you I could surely steal
No crime is any longer heinous when it comes to oh, so secret but perfect and beautiful love that makes you happy!

So secret love makes you sell your soul and body too
but it is not to the devil, it is the unconscious leading you
Watch that, it is the kundalini rising
When it rides you and hits you in the brain
the thousand petalled lotus will unfold

So secret love is Ganesha
who looks like your brain
So secret love is praying that the sets of the universe
are music and maths
and chess
and fall into place
But so secret love is more than just all that!
It is the mystery
So secret love is the brain that does not
work properly
but reigns

I want you here tonight
your body and your spirit
I want to go mad
and want your madness and badness
I want you glad and sad
and I want you to say
you are my God
I worship you and your…
and I want to do the same
So secret love will lead us to The Temple and its depths
and where the idol sits
is only empty blue space
So secret love can fill that empty space
with white clouds and green grass
as if it is a drug
but so secret love is no crack or hash
It is not ecstasy or brown sugar
or cocaine or morphine
It is an empty-full place

So secret love is when you are ready to exchange
matter for energy and be insane
So secret love is obsession
but leaves you clear, no strain
So secret love is going to the place
of no return
for you
to spin gently like a dervish
till one loses sight of all differing views
to be sure of nothing
till everything’s rearranged

So secret love is when I will surely die for You.

This entry was posted in Poetry on by .


Dr A.V. Koshy is presently working as Assistant Professor in Dept. of English, Faculty of Arts and Humanities, Jazan University, Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. He has authored or co-authored seven or eight books of poetry, theory and criticism. He is an editor and anthologist. He is also a distinguished teacher of the English language and literature and a critic, with a Ph.D in modern poetry, specifically Samuel Beckett's poems in English. He was a Pushcart Prize nominee for poetry in 2012 and his book Art of Poetry was selected as Best Reads 2012 by Butterfly and the Bee. He has been editor's pick on Camel Saloon thrice and poet of the month thrice in Destiny Poets UK besides often having his poems appear in the highly selected category. Has other international awards, diplomas and certificates to his credit too.

12 thoughts on “So Secret Love

  1. pramilakhadun

    I almost get the impression that the poet has a secret love when I go through the poem, its clarity, its depth, the emotions flowing like honey, its sweetness, and most importantly its secrecy, so well preserved like pickle in a bottle.I may be wrong and beg to be excused, but I feel it so and express it thus.I I would add a bit of my feeling about secret love…..Like stolen apples, they are sweeter.

  2. Sarala Ramkamal

    the mystery revealed..

    So secret love is going to the place
    of no return …..

    everything is said , this too ” but we never see each other”

    a poet’s capacity to take the reader beyond his words.. I am lost.. I wish I could read more like this deep and die in them .. that too is a secret love sir.. 🙂

  3. Lopa Banerjee

    A luscious and haunting love poem, meandering in different directions of meanings and nuances like a wild, unrestrained spring. Envy you for writing this, Dr. Koshy!


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