Mistakes of a Life



I know not
how many minutes and hours,
days, months and years,
I have spent in meaningless pursuits,
in proving myself, in proving I am not at par
but head and shoulders above others.
I know not
how many times I turned my back
to truth and bliss.
How many times I failed to understand
love and it’s beauty,
someone’s tears, sacrifices, hours of waiting
and longing for me.

I know
hardly I lived my life for me.
It was for those significant others
whom I valued the most,
in seeking their appreciation and recognition
who themselves achieved nothing,
lived the whole of their life in illusion,
in a pseudo world with pseudo greatness
and pseudo satisfaction

I lived a life
in acquiring pelf and power,
laurels and accolades,
adding to my inflated ego,
proving before others
I am unique and different and don’t belong
to the same species to which others belong

My Lord!
How far away I am from me,
from my life and it’s beauty?
How futile is that life,
which is shaped and designed,
not by how one is, but
by how others view and assess it.
I achieved nothing.
What one achieves
by running away from his own,
family, friends and relations,
by alienating from the inner being,
forgetting life and its purpose,
playing all the while to the galleries?

If life means running away from oneself,
from truth and bliss.
If life is an endeavour in pursuit
of appreciation and recognition,
in chasing a mirage
which goes away farther and farther
Forgive me! My Lord
I don’t need one more.

Smruti Ranjan Mohanty©
All Copyrights Reserved.

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About Smruti

Smruti Ranjan Mohanty, O.F.S, son of Raj Kishore and Shantilata Mohanty, born at Padmapur, Jagatsinghpur, Odisha on 1.1.1963 is a multilingual poet, essayist and writer. He is a published poet and writer and a featured poet of PENTASI B World Friendship Poetry. His writings include essays, short stories, poems and novels which are published in newspapers and in various national and international magazines, journals and anthologies. Working as Finance Officer in Govt of Odisha, he writes extensively on life, its beauty and intricacies which are widely acclaimed. Poems are published in Mother Anthology by Hall of Poets, Voices of Aspirants by Poetry Planet, Mother by Poetry for Peace, Let the men speak for peace, Aroma of wilting petals, Anupam Bharat, Sourav, The Rock Pebbles, Symphony of Souls, Serious &Hilarious, Heartistry, World poetry on let there be peace, Complexion based discrimination global insight, Thought and Nature Anthology, New Creative Anteriority, Spring Window to peace, Indo African Anthology, Love at first sight, Spilling Essences, You and Me, A new beginning, Heart to Heart, Only you, My Valentine, Whispering Hearts, Poetic Rainbow, Fragrance of Asia, The Harmony, Sahitya Anand, East meets the West, Symphony of Peace, Pearls of Poesy, Ambrosia, International Anthology on Autism, Stars, Sky and Poiesis, Rain Drops of Love, Smrutire Parijat, Peace Lover, GloMag, Feb 2019, Tranquil Muse, Medley of Melodies, Nostalgia, Rise to Higher Essence, Cherry Toppings, Inked Thoughts, Whispering Poiesis, Rippling of Peace, Creative Anteriority, World for Piece, Traumas on Widows, Holistic Healing of Widow, The Global Literati Insights Research Journal, 1st issue 2018 etc. Poems are also featured in online magazines like atunispoetry.com, our poetry archive, GloMag etc., Poem hunter.com, Destiny poets, Different truths, YouTube.com.etc Website-smrutiweb.wordpress.com

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