I Wanted to Live

i wanted to live
perhaps would always want it to remain as hopeful…
as blissful…as happy… each day
as i spent the little least of my time in this world…
i wanted to live
like i never tasted the bitterness of pain
i don’t want to slumber in my agony and sufferings
i will wake up with a smile so sweet to greet my morning
i wanted to live
believing that i am not alone
that i’m holding the hand that i longed for
that i am safe within the care of compassion
i wanted to live
knowing that i will not fall and break
that i am on a pedestal with my glow
that i would never be lost again
i wanted to live
trusting that nothing can hurt me again
that i am protected with my faith
that i know you won’t ever let me down
i wanted to live
loving the thoughts that you are there
caring and will be watching over me
that nothing else dares to make tears fall
i wanted to live
longing the days that we used to be
when i have your eyes to mirror
when i am sure that i was holding you
i wanted to live
like i was never born to live without you
that i had been cared for in all my life
when i would feel the presence of your love
i wanted to live
with the love that i’ve always wanted
to be just that last leaf to cling on the vine
i wanted to live though i know i will die


in an acrylic painting by artist/poet suzette portes san jose

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About suzette portes san jose

ABOUT THE AUTHOR SUZETTE PORTES SAN JOSE She was born and raised in Cebu City, spent her elementary years at Stella Maris School, Franciscan Missionary Sisters at Mabolo, Banilad, Cebu City and her high school years at the University of San Carlos Girls High School, Holy Spirit Sisters. She went to college at the University of San Carlos, SVD Priest in Cebu City, Philippines. She is a University half scholar from high school to college. She was born with a passion for writing and living in her art forms. She started writing online in 2013. She now has joined 18 book anthologies from 2015 to 2019. Each of her poems is written with her painting as visuals and is now appearing internationally, namely in the United States, Canada, United Kingdom, India, and the Philippines. She is also a recipient of multiple awards for her ARTworks and Literary works. She was awarded Poet of the Year in 2017 by one of the prestigious poetry site Destiny Poets International Community of Poets UK. Also, a regular contributor to GloMag a monthly issued magazine in India. She has also published her 2 narrative poem Chapbook book "As The Wind Blows" and "Whispering Silence" in the 10 part series. She has also done her first-authored book "The Dawning" along with other books Isle of Words and Colors Vol 1 "Footprints from Every Waks of Life", Isles of Words and Colors Vol. 2 "Journey to the New Horizon" and Kirky’s Adventure Vol.1. Now coming up with Isle of Words and Colors Vol. 3 "At The Rainbows End" and her 2nd book "Whisperings". It has always been her dream to leave her legacy as a fulfilled artist and for her next generation to follow her footsteps. A dream comes true. Thank you, Kirk Dominic (granddaughter) Wilyam Gabriel SJ Reyes (grandson) and Angelito Portes San Jose (only son) for dreams that came to reality.

4 thoughts on “I Wanted to Live

    1. suzette portes san jose Post author

      Sir Louis…words from the heart that molded a true emotion…the immortality of love that dwells in the vows of ” till death do as part “…

    1. suzette portes san jose Post author

      @VijayNair… in sorrow and in pain we can die a thousand times…upon his feet, i died with him…on my husbands 7th yr anniversary…i cling to live in his memories…


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