I don’t think I love you anymore

I don't think I love you anymore
Whatever love was there,
Has been killed, torn into
Nothingness, by your own will
And now
I keep gaping at clouds
Wondering about when
Shall they rain on me
The dew drops of Death's
Longing for me!

I don't think I love you anymore,
The number of times that you
Have hurt me
Have reached their limits
And I guess
I am fed up with everything!

My aim on Earth is now of
No purpose
And I would ask you
To pray, together with me,
For the skies to hear
That I seek my freedom
From the soils of Earth!

But still, I hate you not
And I resent you not
As in essence
I am made to be un-loveable,
Diseased and dark,
Living in reclusion and shadows
And aware that my peace
Lies in the arms of Death!

I don't think I love you anymore
And if it be so
I guess it must be God's will
Acting over me
As He paints in me
Life, as He chooses it to be for me
And maybe
The pain that I feel
Is merely a way to allow me
To be cleansed of my negative
Karmic energy!

I don't think I love you anymore
And I know you must be relieved
As you never could love me back
Since I am
A damaged doll
Having had my pieces sewn here and there
And stitched in other places, trying to make 
Myself look as glamorous as would be
A new one on the market!

I seek to find my peace,
And I hope to find it in something
Other than in penning poetry,
As, I had thought I could see it you
But then,
You made it clear that you are not
That which I thought you were!

I don't think I love you anymore
The world is vast,
Even if it is dying
And as long as the Gods
Would will me to live
I guess I shall find enough
Space for myself as not to bother you
And make you feel my presence around!

3 thoughts on “I don’t think I love you anymore

  1. Jagdish Singh Ramana

    Such a beautiful song! It touches the cords of the reader’s heart. Immersive.
    But contrary to the ‘…anymore’ it’ll live forever!

  2. amitapaul

    This is a very sad poem in which there is a wrong presupposition that only perfection or glamour is lovable and not brokenness and imperfection whereas in actual fact the reverse is more often true


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