I Am A Widow



Do i need to be told
what to do, what not to,
how should I look,
what to wear, what to eat,
how to interact and conduct
in this heartless world of yours?

For you
he was just another man,
a friend in the fair weather.
You have lost just a friend.
Do you know what have I lost?
I have lost my whole world.
With him gone my wishes,
my passions to live a life.
But I am breathing,
breathing for the sake of his love
to keep him alive

Have you ever fathomed
a woman’s love for her husband.
No man has ever been able to do so
and you are just another of the same species.
You can never understand
what he meant to me.
I don’t even expect you to understand.
Lett me live with my tears.
They are exclusively mine.
Let them drench me with all his colours.
Even at the cost of the world, its wealth and splendour I can hardly part with it, part with my emotions, my feelings,
half of my heart and soul.

Do you doubt my integrity?
If at this age if you need a woman,
what is the wrong if i go for another man.
If a man can marry after the death of his wife,
why can’t a woman.
Is this world only for men,
their whims and caprices?

Don’t think
I will be a prey to someone’s passion.
There is none in this world
who stands equal to my man,
at least for me
he is head and shoulder above others.
Men should understand
Women better read them, their body language and unusual showers of love.
Change the way you think,
or else you will only burn yourself

And you
being a woman,
I expected you to stand by,
but you only added to my misery,
made my wounds fresh and bleed more.
Do you know what is in store for you in future?
If you are not with me,
never come to my life, add to my sorrow,
make my bleeding heart bleed more.

I call my own,
from you, my expectations were too high.
You never came forward
when i needed you the most.
You never solved my problems,
you can only end up adding a few more.
Can you refrain from giving me advice
and let me live on my own?

Leave me alone
I know how to stand on my legs and withstand life, its ebb and flow tide.
Neither I need your sympathy, compassion nor I have an ear to what you say.
I know my rights and.
understand my obligations.
To do justice to my role as a mother
I will never be in black and white,
reincarnate with all my colours
and will never allow my kids to suffer.
If at all Iam to make a compromise between love and life,
I will choose the latter
with my heart always beating for my love.

©smrutiranjan 15.8.2018


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About Smruti

Smruti Ranjan Mohanty, O.F.S, son of Raj Kishore and Shantilata Mohanty, born at Padmapur, Jagatsinghpur, Odisha on 1.1.1963 is a multilingual poet, essayist and writer. He is a published poet and writer and a featured poet of PENTASI B World Friendship Poetry. His writings include essays, short stories, poems and novels which are published in newspapers and in various national and international magazines, journals and anthologies. Working as Finance Officer in Govt of Odisha, he writes extensively on life, its beauty and intricacies which are widely acclaimed. Poems are published in Mother Anthology by Hall of Poets, Voices of Aspirants by Poetry Planet, Mother by Poetry for Peace, Let the men speak for peace, Aroma of wilting petals, Anupam Bharat, Sourav, The Rock Pebbles, Symphony of Souls, Serious &Hilarious, Heartistry, World poetry on let there be peace, Complexion based discrimination global insight, Thought and Nature Anthology, New Creative Anteriority, Spring Window to peace, Indo African Anthology, Love at first sight, Spilling Essences, You and Me, A new beginning, Heart to Heart, Only you, My Valentine, Whispering Hearts, Poetic Rainbow, Fragrance of Asia, The Harmony, Sahitya Anand, East meets the West, Symphony of Peace, Pearls of Poesy, Ambrosia, International Anthology on Autism, Stars, Sky and Poiesis, Rain Drops of Love, Smrutire Parijat, Peace Lover, GloMag, Feb 2019, Tranquil Muse, Medley of Melodies, Nostalgia, Rise to Higher Essence, Cherry Toppings, Inked Thoughts, Whispering Poiesis, Rippling of Peace, Creative Anteriority, World for Piece, Traumas on Widows, Holistic Healing of Widow, The Global Literati Insights Research Journal, 1st issue 2018 etc. Poems are also featured in online magazines like atunispoetry.com, our poetry archive, GloMag etc., Poem hunter.com, Destiny poets, Different truths, YouTube.com.etc Website-smrutiweb.wordpress.com

2 thoughts on “I Am A Widow

  1. suzette portes san jose



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