Doina, my only fairy

When you find out that your best friend, Doina, the beautiful woman with dark, long hair, thin and elegant, tall and always smiling, a fairy entirely for you only, is, in fact, your mother, and you dance in front of the mirror keeping that piece of paper pressed on your heart and you sing: ‘Doina is my mom, Doina is my mom’… And you are happy, you feel forever connected with that angel… Even if that piece of paper let you know that Doina is deceased by suicide, you know that was the only way for you to have your own fairy, your own angel…. Never been mad on my mom, I understood completely her gesture… It was a reminder for me to pay attention to the people around me who act like they love me but they weren’t truly my friends. So you see, I always had my fairy with me to dance, to laugh together, to run a mock in the fields, to trek the mountains… We always meet in my dreams, in my poems, when the waves kiss my soles, when the sun breaks the clouds blanket, when the storms postpone their light lashes till I arrive on a safe ground… When my own daughter smiles naughtily, I find her, my fairy, my tall, thin mother.
From that moment onward all my nightmares stopped, my mother was there with me forever. Strange it is that I completely forgot this episode of me dancing and singing in the mirror, crying out my mother’s name, but the bad witch was lurking around spying on me and for sometime now, I wonder if she didn’t put that piece of paper especially in my way. I think her scenario was that the news of my mother’s death will kill me as I was already a very sick kid suffering of separation syndrome… The effect was the other way around, I felt connected with the gods, happy as never been before, suddenly a purpose rised in my life: to make my mother proud! Thirty years later I found out about this manifestation of mine from a friend of the bad witch… This was her argument that she knew I never loved her even if I called her mom as
she taught me herself, she always knew that I will betray her…. How this witch could imagine I would completely forgot my fairy, my mother, my angel is beyond my imagination… You steal another woman’s child to secure her husband, then you get pregnant to tie the knot perfectly around that man’s neck, his wife commits suicide, but you expect their child to be loyal to you forever… This logic ruins my mind… But, do not worry, my friends, we are safe for now, my fairy and I

4 thoughts on “Doina, my only fairy

  1. Louis Kasatkin

    This work is splendidly evocative of so many familiar tropes of abandonment,childhood,mystery and alienation The cognoscenti of this author’s poetry-nonpareil will no doubt be listening to Mahler’s ” Die Kindertotenlieder” to lighten the mood somewhat after engaging with it Curiously I detected parallels with a recent film ,”The Little Stranger”.


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