Author Archives: SmithaV

About SmithaV

Smitha Vishwanath was a banker by profession for two decades. She quit banking in 2018 and is currently a blogger by choice, a poet by accident and an artist at heart. She began her writing journey in 2016 through her blog and published her first book of poetry, Roads: A Journey with Verses in July 2019. Her poetry has been published by Rebelle Society, Borderless Journal, The Short of It, SpillWords Press, Silverbirch Press and Rhyvers. Her poem ‘Omid’ was nominated by the Borderless Journal as an entry for the ‘Best of the Net’ in 2020 and her poem, ‘Do you have dreams?’ was featured on the National Poetry Writing Month 2021 website on Day 28. In addition to writing, Smitha also paints. She loves travelling to new destinations and shares her travelogue through her blog – https://smithavishwanathsblog.com/.

I love you just as much – a letter poem

The moment I laid my eyes on you
A wave so strong flowed in every nerve and sinew
When I held you in my arm
An urge, powerful, emerged from the depths; to protect you from all harm
And I made a promise.

When I looked into your big, black eyes, I saw the world
Your soft, brown curl, I unconsciously twirled
I was scared to touch your silken skin; lest I might hurt
But when you wrapped your fingers around mine, a surge of emotions spurt-
And I knew then my life had forever changed.

You gurgled, a toothless smile you gave
Made me choke; my heart for more did crave
My entire being ached to let you go
“You did not give birth, no leaves for fathers, ” they said, “Oh no!”
And so for the evening, I had to wait, for your crescent smile.

But your day was done and you'd be asleep, and yet for my sake
I would hope you’d wake
For the night was all I had with you
when the world would sleep, and it was just us, two
And I could hold you close and thank the stars.

And so a father must wait
A decision made by the Heavens above and followed by the State
Nine months first, and then for the end of each day
'A mother’s love is incomparable to all,' they say
But was a father ever given the choice to make?

I was not the womb that bore you
Or the breast that nursed you
But I will be the roof that shelters you
The wall that stands behind you
And the shadow that follows you

I will be with you, when you need me to
And I will let you go when you want me to
I will wait for you if you ask me to
For a father knows to wait
I love you just as much as your mother; if not more.

Forever Yours,

Dad

(Originally published in Meticulous Men of Mettle in 2018)

How a mother feels

Don’t ask a mother how she feels
When a child leaves home the first time
Not for a sleepover or the weekend
or a week's summer camp,
or even an extended vacation
But when a child leaves, I mean,
like really leaves- to a land, far,
far away from home
Don't ask a mother how she feels
Not then, not anytime soon

For her emotions run high like a muddy river
Flowing precariously close to the river's edge.
Give her time, let her be
So, the silt of separation settles
on the bed of her soul.
Know it ain't easy; kind of like using one's legs
for the first time, after an accident,
or breathing on one's own,
after being on life support
Or giving up an addiction,

or waking up from a comatose state
She needs to learn to live
with her heart outside of her
so, don't ask a mother how she feels
when a child leaves to a land, far,
far away from home
Instead, watch- how she meanders gently
into a new restive course;
never losing track
of the rivulets that diverged from her;

believing, knowing deep within her
that they too shall carve their own path.
Watch in awe, instead,
as you would the first flight of a bird

Or the sprouting of a sapling, or
the emergence of a butterfly from a cocoon
But, don't ask a mother how she feels
when her child leaves to a land, far, 
far away from home
Give her time, let her be.