You, Me and I.
I can not find myself anymore, I’ve lost it all and can not be here anymore.
I just let everything fall and run away from everything that mattered, what a pain.
I would like to stay here, but there are only faint hints and evidence that we were here.
The rain on my window recalls the days when this meant nothing, because we were still two of us.
I am looking for all the lost days, but know I have thrown it all down in the gutter with the rain.
How could I let you slip away from me? You were my whole life, indeed my entire life.
Why does it feel as if something inside me is dead? Where’s my world gone?
Why burn it no longer inside of me? Why was the fire extinguished, without my knowledge?
I want to wake up from my self-created nightmare, so please, wake me up before I lose myself.
The days are dark and with a sadness that stifles all the sweet love that rumble in me.
No one else has yet managed to cause all you did, but your character is gone forever.
My inner skinned and torn apart while screaming your name out in a last spasm pain.
I wish now only to close my weary eyes and let my restless soul finally rest.
I’ve spent so much time to move me away from the pain, but can not escape it.
Why I let this happen? Why was I not aware of how everything was going?
Why I let myself get swept up in a stream of lies that would not do anything good?
How do I say this to you? That I was wrong and spent too much time taking care of my open wound?
I want to wake up from my self-created nightmare, please, wake me up before I lose myself.
I so wanted to tell you all the good old phrases I said many years ago.
I know that I have probably lost the chance to meet with you once again, we must burn separately.
Had I just kept you when you had most need of me, but I let go becauce of my quest away from the pain.
But I know that I must pay the full price for my selfishness, and it burns when I cry every time.
I know that you will always shine in my heart.
Like all stars in the universe at the same time.
As inside the Sun.
How can I just let life slip away from me? I would have to have you on my way else fades my light?
Why did I not just keept my honesty and told you the truth that you are my life’s greatest love?
How can I convince you of the truth in my heart when the line has now become too long, indeed ruptured.
I want to get you in my waking dreams, please, fill my daydreams in your being, yes fill my life.
” You ,Me and I ” is such an intensely powerful and personal poem ,that it does require more than one thorough reading to let all of its emotional energy soak into one’s consciousness. The calibre of Jan’s work is such that the format of, for instance, a novel or stage play would provide the much broader canvass which clearly the subject matter deserves.
We all need faith and something to believe in. If we loose ourself we will loose the love that’s inside all of us.
Have a fantastic spring everyone, I shall return with more poems as soon as possibly.
Yours Jachso.
” You,Me and I” has been awarded the commendation of ” Highly Commended ” in the Poem of the Year Category of the Destiny Poets’ International Community of Poets ICOP Awards 2012. See ICOP Roll of Honour for more details.
Thank you once again Louis…your words have waight and power 🙂