Who I Am..Not


upon this mirror, the face that i cannot see
even to the world that i am meant to be
i stand on my own and seek to be me
thus i am defined by “who i am…not”

revealed from the earthly womb with eyes so blind
into my darkness groping, yet, nothing to find
voices and peals of laughter i could hear from behind
how i desire to conceive their joys in my mind

those eyes staring and piercing me inside
the deceitful looks that their soul tend to hide
where those words of truth and lies collide
i am defined by “who i am…not”

i am lost drifting into the flow of nothingness
afloat the uncolored ocean of emptiness
the rhythm of the waves console my loneliness
only to dream the glory of divine happiness

the reflection that i have longed for so long
live to exist with my heart and soul to belong
to set free the melody i once sing in my song
so not be defined for “who i am…not”

one day i know i would see myself again
even behind the curtain of the falling rain
the solitude of time cannot keep me insane
for i will be me to sing my bittersweet refrain

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About suzette portes san jose

ABOUT THE AUTHOR SUZETTE PORTES SAN JOSE She was born and raised in Cebu City, spent her elementary years at Stella Maris School, Franciscan Missionary Sisters at Mabolo, Banilad, Cebu City and her high school years at the University of San Carlos Girls High School, Holy Spirit Sisters. She went to college at the University of San Carlos, SVD Priest in Cebu City, Philippines. She is a University half scholar from high school to college. She was born with a passion for writing and living in her art forms. She started writing online in 2013. She now has joined 18 book anthologies from 2015 to 2019. Each of her poems is written with her painting as visuals and is now appearing internationally, namely in the United States, Canada, United Kingdom, India, and the Philippines. She is also a recipient of multiple awards for her ARTworks and Literary works. She was awarded Poet of the Year in 2017 by one of the prestigious poetry site Destiny Poets International Community of Poets UK. Also, a regular contributor to GloMag a monthly issued magazine in India. She has also published her 2 narrative poem Chapbook book "As The Wind Blows" and "Whispering Silence" in the 10 part series. She has also done her first-authored book "The Dawning" along with other books Isle of Words and Colors Vol 1 "Footprints from Every Waks of Life", Isles of Words and Colors Vol. 2 "Journey to the New Horizon" and Kirky’s Adventure Vol.1. Now coming up with Isle of Words and Colors Vol. 3 "At The Rainbows End" and her 2nd book "Whisperings". It has always been her dream to leave her legacy as a fulfilled artist and for her next generation to follow her footsteps. A dream comes true. Thank you, Kirk Dominic (granddaughter) Wilyam Gabriel SJ Reyes (grandson) and Angelito Portes San Jose (only son) for dreams that came to reality.

4 thoughts on “Who I Am..Not

    1. suzette portes san jose Post author

      thank you, sir Louise for the magical inspiration that uplift a dying spirit… felt at a lost…


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