When we were two of us.
I think all the time when we two were together.
Like when you told me you loved me for the first time.
I thought even that you were right for me, the one I had searched for all my life.
Yet I felt sometimes lonely with you.
Now I saw that it was love I felt and it is a pain as I can remember.
I might have been dependent on a facade, a facade that hid my hurt inside.
Almost as wanting to surrender to the parting, yes always at parting.
It suddenly made no sense to think more and to be as such.
Maybe I thought at first that I would just be a friend and nothing else.
Quickly, I became aware of the error by myself through your love.
Suddenly I would not give you the chance to break our connection.
To pretend that we did nothing and it never happened.
That we never were and had been together, our love was or should be empty.
That one day you might treat me like a stranger, it would feel so brutally.
Almost like having to surrender to the parting, yes, always the parting.
Now I could not stop and I let myself be carried away by you.
Your friends dragged me along but it was the strength in you that got me totally convinced.
I found a second life I was not familiar with, and slipped into the dream.
Now would not you be somebody I once knew in the past.
I think all the time when we two were together.
Like the first time I lied to you and felt the pain in you.
I often had the feeling of having done something terrible and evil.
It was not how I wanted us to live our lives.
I let you be reading a lot of my stuff even though I never allowed any other.
I would not have you as a loved one I once knew, I just wanted you.
Almost like surrender to the parting, yes always at parting.
What had taken me a lifetime to realize, you did for me in a few weeks.
I knew suddenly what had always been lacking in my life and you gave it to me.
Careless I held on to old promises and a sickly family without conscience.
Was too long to see the truth of your love and acknowledge it.
I just talked, talked as if I could hold it all and do everything.
So not even the danger signs you put up and glowed red for you but not me.
So dazzled by your beautiful brown eyes and the beauty you possess, I was just gone blind.
I told you often that you gave my life a reason, had I been well for many years, I think not.
Screaming in pain, I can now not even follow you in your further movements and life.
Lamb shredded and I sit alone without a home and without content, just lost it all.
Almost like surrender to the parting, yes always at parting.
Give up finding you again I cannot, do not be someone I once knew.
” When we were two of us ” once again demonstrates Jan’s incredible poetic acumen and wonderfully expressive sensitivity.The universal themes of Love,Loss and Relationships are common currency amongst poets great and not so great. Handled ineptly or injudiciously,most poetry on those three interrelated themes demonstrates all the sensitivity,insight and orignality of a shopping mall greetings card. Luckily for the reader of Jan’s poem” When we were two of us ” is several thousand orders of magnitude above the ordinary.
Thank you once again for your very fine remarks. It is a love poem and there is more to it than that as your sharp eye caught so fine. It contain a lifetime of feelings cut down to these few sentences.
My wish is to translate all my poetry to english so than a broarder audience can read my poetry. Hopefully it will come true one day.
Yours sincerly Jachso