Let the darkness helplessly wonder
For the hours in the night
Lie open, bare and empty,
Alone it can do little.
One never learns, at least, not at first.
Early morning sun begins to stream in
Relaxes, stretches out, under the spell,
The slow flapping of birds across hills,
The steady winds in the tall trees,
The green leaves come to life again.
The old torn letters remain unread
The hand written words,
Round and legible in blue ink,
Begins to build, to play, and to turn over
In gentle speed like current ripples.
The marks of a lonely mind,
I do not exactly know
What problems it may toss up
Against all the tardy resolutions
Slowly blurs in the building clouds.
Good imagery. Can improve with a little editing. To be exact cadence, meaning and tense can be tightened.
One of the indicators that helps the reader identify one poem as being of intrinsically superior merit from another poem which is in all respects ” good ” , are those lines or phrases that act as hooks and stick long in the reader’s memory. ” Let the darkness helplessly wonder ” , is one such exemplar.
Koshy- No matter how tight or loose you are, nothing can beat the sweet pleasure of being read.
Louis- Thanks for the pointer. Much appreciated.
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The final problem was that these charts gave you no room to expand if
you had more questions you wanted to add to each item.
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