Tag Archives: parody

A & E

Accident & Emergency

They’re waiting for you ,
they’re waiting for you to die ,
but not on their shift ;
They don’t fancy doing the paperwork
that you dying on their shift entails ;
They have tests to run ,
degrees to measure ,
percentages to ascertain ;
First you must be disempowered ,
brought under their stewardship ,
critical reasoning has to be set aside ,
so that you can be
assigned ,consigned ,designed
to fit in with their industrial logic ;
They’re waiting for you ,
to consent to your incarceration ,
so that they can transform you
into one of their votive offerings ,
on one of their altars dedicated
to their idols of weakness and incapacity ;
Should you feel strongly enough
the urge to discharge yourself ,
and you go ahead and do just that ,
They’ll still be waiting for you ,
waiting for you…..

Christmas

Ding ,dong

ding ,dong

all the bells are ringing ,

la – la – la

la – la – la

all the choirs are singing ,

about hope ,joy and love

coming from heaven above ,

with the candlelights burning

mankind’s ageless yearning ,

lifting all the gloom

in that tiny tiny room ,

marked : NO UNAUTHORIZED ENTRY

A 1990’s REM Song

Second Letter.

I never saw what you heard

and I never heard what you saw ,

back there back then

that time outside Wichita ;

And may be I don’t need to

cos all I know or ever knew

was what you wrote me

in that letter ,

the second one ;

First one got trashed

got thrown away I never

opened it ,never read it ,never needed to ,

and you never saw what I heard

and you never heard what I said

back there ,back then

that time outside Wichita.

A 1970’s 10cc Song

Care Home.

care ,
home ,
neither care nor home ;
we are turnips hung upon the rack ,
awaiting the inevitable
being tossed into the sack ,
sans identity ,sans something to say ,
sans someone to be,sans someone who matters ;
we are ” product ” ,
an object for ” professionals ”
to exercise their medieval superstitions on ;
group activities , collectively remembering
a past that never even existed ,
giving us meals ,wiping our arse
the time surely is at hand
when we have to end this farce .

1980’s Elvis Costello Song

We get our boarding passes
and head on thro’ the gate ,
we always get there early
so that we’re never ever late.

(Chorus):And we don’t know
until the Plane crashes
just how long
this flight’s gonna take

We sit next to each other
say “hello” and have a chat ,
though neither of us knows which
of our names is gonna be pulled from the hat.

And we don’t know
until the Plane crashes
just how long
this flight’s gonna take

Drinks are served as we watch the in-flight movie
“Airport 75 “,that’s okay,
smiling at the thought how we’ll get
into separate cabs when we land at JFK

And we don’t know
until the Plane crashes
just how long
this flight’s gonna take

During our brief time together
we’ll buy presents for our spouses ,
so that we don’t have to talk to them
when we return back home to our separate houses.

And we don’t know
until the Plane crashes
just how long
this flight’s gonna take.

1970’s Rock Song

Stood at the mouth of the Volcano
staring down from on high ,
right into the heart of the inferno
can’t you see mankind’s troubles
can’t you hear our cry ?

There in the flames
millions of faces
choking with despair
their lives thrown on the Pyre
by Rulers who don’t care ;

the Rich and powerful do as they please
chaining millions to war.poverty,hunger and disease ,
Presidents ,Kings and bosses burning all our hopes with their greed ,
turning our dreams into ashes
as they sit back and watch us bleed ;

Stood at the mouth of the Volcano
staring down from on high ,
can’t you see mankind’s troubles
can’t you hear our cry ?

( second in an occasional series of Homages To Popular Music
see also ” 1960’s Pop Song ” )

1960’s Pop Song

Dream those dreams tomorrow
that you didn’t dream today ,
dream again those dreams
tomorrow’s heading your way.

Say those words tomorrow
you didn’t say today ,
say the words ,”I love you”
tomorrow to the one heading your way.

Open your eyes tomorrow
look at the world you can’t see today ,
see all the colours and beauty
before tomorrow fades away .

Sing a song of freedom tomorrow
the one that you can hear in your dreams ,
there will be Peace tomorrow
tomorrow’s closer than it seems.

Death Watch :- Accident & Emergency ( Rebooted as A & E 10 October 2018 )

They’re waiting for you ,
they’re waiting for you to die ,
but not on their shift ;
They don’t fancy doing the paperwork
that you dying on their shift entails ;
They have tests to run ,
degrees to measure ,
percentages to ascertain ;
First you must be disempowered ,
brought under their stewardship ,
critical reasoning has to be set aside ,
so that you can be
assigned ,consigned ,designed
to fit in with their industrial logic ;
They’re waiting for you ,
to consent to your incarceration ,
so that they can transform you
into one of their votive offerings ,
on one of their altars dedicated
to their idols of weakness and incapacity ;
Should you feel strongly enough
the urge to discharge yourself ,
and you go ahead and do just that ,
They’ll still be waiting for you ,
waiting for you…..

Shakespeare Wrote This: “Credit Where It’s Due”

” Dear Sir,

A gallon of ale

and two pots of Honey,

please extend my credit

I’ve got no Money;

A side of bacon

and some cutlets of Pork,

let me pay you next week

I’ve no trinkets to Hawk;

I need new shoes for my wife

and a new set for the Horse,

put them on the slate

you’ll get paid of Course;

These few necessities will see me Through,

until I find a buyer

for Henry IV,Part Two.”

(I,Louis Kasatkin hereby admit to penning this back in 1998 at the time of the release of “Shakespeare in Love”which went on to get the Oscar for motion picture for that year.)