Tag Archives: ennui

Excerpts from a Conversation

Who are you again?

Oh,that’s right!

yes,I remember now;

who,me?

yeah,yeah..

erm,no,you’re thinking about someone else,

no,he was there round about the same time,

yeah,that’s right,

and you?

cancer of the bowel? wow!

no,I..I’m sorry to hear that?

Me? oh coming up to 30 years..

Department of Work and Pensions,Benefits,

erm,well no,not particularly

I can’t remember ever sanctioning anyone suffering from cancer;

Tens of thousands? really?

that’s just shocking!

Yeah, I am a Union member..

Oh,I don’t know..

anyhow,nice catching up with you..

see you around again sometime?

Passing Thoughts

Passing thoughts

passing us by

into

the nothingness of nothing,

the nothing of nothingness;

the wherefore of whys,

the whys of wherefore;

the noise of silence,

the silence of noise;

the emptiness of empty,

the empty of emptiness;

the traveller knocking at the door,

waiting,

waiting,

waiting

Brief Notes on a Suicide Foretold

When you wave goodbye to the World,

for the last time,

don’t tell them that you’ll never be back;

It only makes the world sad

to hear such things,makes it feel

sadder than it already is;

So when you do wave goodbye,

goodbye, goodbye, forever and anon,

don’t tell them anything except

that you’re looking forward to some

time away and having a great time,

and that you’ll write.

Apologia

Who will remember the Days
when they are gone?
who will sail the Sea
when it is dry?
what tears shall we shed
when we can no longer cry?
who will furl up the flag
when the war is done?
who will stand guard
when the armies are gone?
who shall tend our grave
and sweep away the leaves
of an autumnal season
long out of step?

What songs will Nightingales make
when there’s no-one left to hear?
what pictures will colours make
when there’s no-one to paint
the scene of old men on
the park bench by the lake?
who will remember the days
when diaries crack with longing
for missing fingers to turn
pages that fade and crumble
for want of eyes to read again
the names of those things
unspoken by lips long sealed,
who then will there be left
to remember the days?

A German Requiem

Incense-misted eyes


throats baulked with pride,


scars reddened by droplets


a hand wiping spittle


from the Breviary’s page;


Drought-mouthed elegies


to ribbons burdened


by weights of guilt,


gleaming handle farewells


accompanied by Bach


to the warrior hearts


swollen with longing,


marking time with


the limping clock;


Yearning, yearning


for visions


wrought into maps,


iron-ore mountains


forged into Tanks


and nights of gasoline


when the Sea


of Ages parted


and Schnapps was Wagner


in our heads.

The Stranger’s Absence

I recall him saying,

” of all the possible possibilities isn’t it possible

that there being no possibilities is amongst them? “

To which I countered,

” We cling obsessively to those pieces of a jigsaw

we’ve somehow come to accumulate by chance,

accident or ulterior design, only for those pieces

never to fall into place or even bear any resemblance

to a discernible outline or pattern or a promise of coherence. “

I contemplate the solitary glass of absinthe

that sits forever stationary on a marble top table,

un-paid for and un-drunk until The Stranger returns,

and quaffs it savouring the liquid’s unique indifference

as it surges down his gullet;

We are only led to imagine such things

because we imagine that the Stranger,

long since absconded into the obscurity of the world-at-large

might somehow re-appear unannounced as if by chance,

fate or ulterior design,

And then we might recommence the desultory dialogue,

the Stranger and me

that dialogue which he chose peremptorily to abandon

with his trademark flaneur disquieting insouciance;

and so I sit and toy with the pieces of jigsaw

left me as a memento or perhaps not,

some pieces are clearly missing and

the glass of absinthe requires that I pay for it.

……………………………………………………………………..

Author’s footnote:

My previous poems featuring “The Stranger” are

The Stranger,One Last time ( 23/4/2019 )

A Stranger Returns (23/4/2018 )

Encounter with a Stranger ( 3/10/2017 )

Orientation

What do we see when

we see what others saw?

what do we hear when

we listen to what others heard?

what do we know when

we know what others learned?

what do words mean when

we speak those words spoken

before by others?

Should we somehow exchange places,

and in that exchange

become them,

as they become us,

and looking back

at our former selves

we no longer recognise

who we are?

Interstellar

Standing in our stockinged feet

on the surface of an alien world ,

wondering whether we can ever go back

go back go back again to that

place where we started from ?

So very far away so very

long ago that somehow we left

somehow find ourselves in our

stockinged feet standing and staring

staring across an unfamiliar horizon

wrought of jewels burnished with gold ,

dazzling and shining and when

all is done and all is told

we simply stand with one question

remaining on our lips ,

How do we get back home ?

Now

Now

is forever,

now forever,

the long wait

of disappointed days

appointed

to be afar off

and away;

out of reach

of our grasp

that flails forlornly

in the air

striking at

shimmering

apparitions

that were never here

never real

in the now;

that forever now

that finds us

flailing

with outstretched

mendicant hands

grasping at pity

for pity’s sake,

until the shimmering itself

stops,

and we awake

from dreamless dreams

and sleepless sleep

staring agape

at

where we were

and are

in the now,

forever