broken words ,
lying empty ,
scattered ,
some of the words are… ,
parts of syntax…… missing ,
if simply misplaced ,
we can’t find……. ,
what should…… be…… ,
familiar patterns have…… ,
grown……. fuzzy……. edges ,
around them……….. …… those ,
words……. broken…… ,
some of the…….. are….. ,
broken.. broken…………. broken ,
……… are ………… ……… words ,
words……. are……… lying.
Bittersweet capture of Parkinsons, the frustration and the heartbreak. Clever use of dittos really flavors this write. Moving ………. well done!
Pause and write…I really liked this crafty poem with beautiful word play.
As one who lost his father to Parkinson’s, I must compliment your skill in capturing the stealthy movements of this disease. My mother died shortly after my father from Alzheimer’s disease and I must admit this poem also catches glimpses of yet another destroyer of minds.
Thank you Kenn for your kind words and your observations are much appreciated.
Parkinson’s also afflicted my dad who passed away back in’87.
Space Epic ( comments extracted from http://www.writerscircle.biz )
27 June 2012 Appreciate you sharing your thoughts here. My father is in late stages with this and has those tremors and fragments in speech you note ring true. Wouldn’t mind seeing an extension to this sobering meditation that uses your style to capture also the panic, difficulty of breath, and frequent stumbles and falls. Thank you for sharing.
Bogman ( comments extracted from http://www.writerscircle.biz )
27 June 2012 I really like what you have done here. It never occurred to me to write about this horrible condition using broken words.
I have had the thing for five years now and posted my take on it as Twitch, Grimace, Tremor.
Just last week, for the examination practical for Surgery, the number I got to make a report on led me to meet a 69 yr old lady in the wards and her loving husband. She is suffering from this disease, is in the second stage of it. And she told me she was a poetess but couldn’t write now since she can’t hold the pen. She doesn’t know where her disease was taking her.. It filled my eyes… Very good depiction of the later condition of it, Louis…
Thank you Sana for sharing your observations and insights.My interest in memory loss and Parkinson’s in particular come from my late Father’s experience of the condition.There is also a similarly themed poem ,”Loss” in this site’s archive.
You have been awarded The Editor’s Choice
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FROM:
Carl Sutton – the editor of The Writers’ Circle
TO:
louis kasatkin
Message flagged Sunday, 22 July 2012, 11:59
You have been awarded The Editor’s Choice award
Well done!
Carl, The Editor of The Writers’ Circle, has awarded you The Editor’s Choice award.
Your article:
Parkinson’s
Genre / category: Poetry
it is my pleasure to remain among the top ten to comment on this piece… CONGRATULATIONS !
Lovely way of capturing the terrible trials of this disease