The hesitant dawn breathed out fog
Curly smoke from the cup blended with it
He wrapped me in his arms
Imparting his warmth on me
He blew away the lacy smoke from me
And the curls of hair falling forward.
I shut his lips before he could blow away the fog
For I don’t want the dawn to show its face
Clusters of hatred and oppression beyond the sea
I don’t want a return to where I belong
Where I am just a form without a soul
Where silence is the only preferred adornment
Where arms are mightier and smoke heavier.
This is insanity, away from reality
As transient as a dew drop under the sun
It’ll fade with the retrieval of his arms
But what if I don’t want a return?
Destiny Poets
Uniting and celebrating the best "Writers" and "Poetry" from around the world centred out of Destiny Church Wakefield
” Far away ” , is a densely fashioned poem packed with a number of narrative threads. There are allusions to personal relationships layered with an intrusive ennui and sense of disillusionment ; it more than hints at a looming dystopia.
Perhaps to be able to eke out a living and a powerful sense of connection.
Thank you Louis and Gopalji for your valuable comments.
You think like a politician,nick like a musician,talk like a rhetorician and argue as a logician!
The poem,in its totality, enacts the dramatic conflict between the demands of ‘id’ and those of ‘ego’. . . . .the ‘clusters of hatred and oppression’ signify the social taboos,while as its counterpart,the innocent sexuality,is signified by the last line,’but what if i don’t want a return?’ the’I’ in the poem is not individual but universalised. It typifies the real human nature – good yet bad,selfless yet selfish,angelic yet demonaic; the conflicting claims between body and soul always at war with each other.
And the way it has been presented in natural imagery puts you in the line of imagists much nearer to Ezra Pound! The poem ,so far as its structure is concerned, is like a mathematical derivation ,starting with the startling adjective’hesitant’ that qualifies the ‘dawn'(yes,the very first adjective that narrates the whole condition before the sexual encounter)and the noun itself(dawn) symbolises that ultimate pleasure that human beings crave so much.the hinted analogy is appropriate in all its ramifications! The words in this line move slow,impliying the premeditation ,the supposed moral scruples that is the unfortunate part of human nature.. .yet the picture of dawn emitting out fog reveals the voracious nature of the proposed action. . .that is conveyed by the weight of words!
The poem is musical too ; for the alliteration produced by the liquid consonants ‘m’ and ‘n’ impart a rhythm to its narrative and the supposed sexual experience thereof!
The person in dilemma is acutely concious of the futility of the transient passion he/she wants to get taste of,for he says it is as ephemeral ‘as a dew drop under the sun’ , but what if he does ‘not want a return?’ the last line does not conclude,but hints at the power of the volcanic force that resides in us. . .it is blind,for it works on the principle of pleasure,unknown of the external imposed laws. It is prelinguistic, determined by its own rules. This line makes us aware of the biological determinism,and the poem in whole,as it enacts the drama deep within the nocturnal recesses of our psyche, is a fabulous work of art. To call it a psychological poem would be the betrayal of its dignity,it is rather,if i may risk the paradox,psychology incarnate!