Fantasy
Is your love real?
My heart is filled with ecstasy.
in my arms, when you smile,
this life becomes a fantasy.
With your kiss I am transported to moon,
beyond doom and gloom,
swimming in the celestial springs of pleasure
where nature’s nectar bloom.
on the flying mountains of a fixed star,
Glimmer and Shimmer fall from sky,
we fly together on a sparkling river,
where our deepest emotions lay.
every minute lasts eternity
each day we feel more young,
we feed the dancing babies of our imagination
where even the gods cannot come.
But here I am on the earth,
on a rainy day you walked passed me,
I am waiting for this trip with you,
until you smile at me.
More than simply a pleasant poetic divertissement,the author expresses the vagaries of love with a certain brio that captures something of the Lovin’ Spoonful’s John Sebastian penned 1960s classic ” Daydream”.
Editorial Footnote:-
Whilst the abundance of familiar and repetitive cliches is intrinsic to the whole poem,the ” until I wake up..” in my view doesn’t deliver a distinctive punchline/conclusion to all that precede it. Waking up from a dream is the cliche of cliches, ,how about something like, “But here I am on the earth,on a rainy day you waled passed me…”?
Thank you Louis, that is really a great review and I am really happy to include it. Thanks for that editorial remarks, somehow it saved it. It was really a fight to get this poem out of the cliches. I have to read DayDream thanks for this great insight.
Thanks again.
A love poem with a difference, engaging and endearing.