She could no longer decipher
The architectural designs
Of her feelings.
She felt like a green seaweed
In a tumultuous sea.
Her self-contained look vanished
With a sudden downpour
Of calamities unfathomable,
Insurmountable,
Which nothing could elucidate.
Tangled and tied
In a spaghetti-like tangle,
She listened to the painful
Beats of her heart’s misery.
Her eyes moistened
As she thought how
The pristine scintillating beauty
Of her heart had been defaced,
The immaculate tenderness
Of her soul turned to charcoal.
Rose replete with thorns,
She was stripped of the rose
And left with the thorns.
The music of her finely tuned instruments disappeared.
Left with the loathsome notes
Of her eulogy of pain,
She looked at the pale ethereal moonlight,
Sipping the honey of solitude in quietude.
Self-contained and solemn,
Plunged in a sea of silence,
Caught between two polarities,
She allowed herself to crumble
Into cosmic dust.
Pramila Khadun.
An immaculate thy journey of cosmic souls..a fantastic deep ethereal piece
Thanks a lot Shamsher for this beautiful comment, so kind of you.
Soulfully engaging and awesome composition Pramila…:-)
Thanks Maya for this lovely comment dear,love it lots.
An emotionally penetrating soliloquy which examines the vicissitudes of ennui and alienation.
EDITORIAL FOOTNOTE ( For the benefit of the author )
You will note that two substantive corrections have been made to spelling. First to the work’s title which got published as – Crumbles into cosmic Dusk (sic). As the last line verifies, you intended ” Dust” to be in the title. Second – your original and uncorrected – ” Desighs ” (sic) in line 2 has been amended to ” designs”.
In Verse 2 you over-egg the proverbial pudding by adding the line -In a spaghetti-like tangle- after the concise and punchy preceding line – ” tangled and tied” . You then follow on from that to – “she listened to the..”where you insert ” painful” quite unnecessarily since in the next line you refer to her heart beats misery. Less is always more.
Thanks my dear friend Louis for the corrections which I really appreciate.The first two were printing mistakes and the third one is an intelligent correction which I appreciate lots.Thanks once again .
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