Mountains
Exposed to the elements of Nature
Bear heavy downpour,
And scorching sun on their massive shoulders
Undeterred
Stand their ground
As silent mendicant
Oblivious to storms and frosts
As years add
Become all the more strong
Neither in the cold they shrivel
Nor in the sun they tan
That is what you are dear buddy
Had a roller-coaster ride
But
Never sighed
During the turbulent night
Braved its upheavals
Took things in your stride
The way the sea-side rocks bear the brunt of the high-tide
But survive
Yet provide the umbrella cover
Like mountains that
Are shelter to millions
Don’t lose heart, O pal!
The power Supreme
Has designs of its own
That will run their due course
Mortals are mere players on the stage
Says the bearded bard of Avon!
” Courage ” is a generally well constructed poem that deals for the most part with man’s relationship to those circumstances of nature and the world against which we are unevenly pitted. A few editorial points concern what i see as idiosyncratic usage of English ;namely ” O pal ! “. The exclamatory ” O ” is archaic and unfamiliar to the casual reader ; whilst substitutng the more grammatically acceptable ” friend ” for “buddy” and “pal” would,in my view be a positive step. as for the concluding line; the poem would be stronger were you to eliminate, ” says the bearded bard of Avon”,it is entirely superfluous within the context of what has preceded it.
Thanks Louis for going through the poem closely and also thanks for the editorial comments which were very genuine. However, as far as the mention of ‘the bard of Avon’ is concerned, it is because the views of Shakespeare are incorporated in the last two-three lines of the poem.
I thought I should make myself clear.
Regards,
Sangeeta