Author Archives: K.RADHAKRISHNAN

About K.RADHAKRISHNAN

Poet K.Radhakrishnan lives in Bhopal city, India. Born on 4th November 1955. He is an underwriter by profession and worked as a senior level executive in NEWINDIA ASSURANCE, India's largest General Insurance Company till his retirement. He is engaged in consultant activities and insurance education. He has co-authored three insurance text books for NATIONAL COUNCIL OF EDUCATION, TRAINING AND RESEARCH(NCERT), INDIA. He has a passion for writing poetry which he pursued after retirement from his job. His first poetry book REFLECTION OF SOUL was published by LULU PRESS and is selling in Amazon and Barnes& Nobles http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-radhakrishnan/reflections-of-soul/paperback/product-23074342.html https://www.amazon.com/REFLECTIONS-SOUL-K-RADHAKRISHNAN/dp/1365769984 His second book ERUPTION OF BOTTLED UP EMOTINS is under publication.

A Recluse

Some call me a philosopher and some a loner,

This heart of mine has only me as owner,

Self – denounced as one not fitting in to societal order,

I am beyond expectations and scrutiny of peers.

 

To keep my creativity fierce, I prefer isolation,

For my being the odd one out, that may be a reason,

But I am observant and absorbent of social reality,

Perfectly content I am, though a recluse I may be.

 

I love talking to breeze and love chatting with trees,

Addicted to my loneliness I am so free,

I need to wear no masks to be accepted,

Though I am hated and shunned, I never protested.

 

I don’t care my name being not mentioned in places,

Let me stay in peace away from people’s glare and gazes,

I am so different, a nerdy bookworm and a happy recluse,

I have no grudge or regret for being a lone goose.

Mid-Life Crisis

End of another phase,

As I navigate through endless maze,

Days after nights and nights after days,

I fight endless battle with life’s blaze.

 

Nothing really feels quite right,

Insecurity takes over and I feel like a mite,

For money and fame, having an endless appetite,

I chew more than I could ever bite.

 

WHEN DO YOU GET TO LIVE?”, I hear this voice,

I pretend to be deaf, surrounded with other noises,

More than life, decided to embrace wrong choices,

Lost in the process are thousand fragrant poises.

 

WILL MY ENTIRE LIFE BE A LIE?”

As body started falling apart, I ask with a sigh,

My judgment knew no reasons why,

May be with a wrong road map, I aimed for the sky.

 

Acne won’t sprout on skin with wrinkles,

Liters of lotion on my skin I may sprinkle,

Not finding the road to mid-life salvation,

Endless desperation showing in my frustration.

© K.Radhakrishnan

( A collaborative story poem jointly composed by Nutan Sarawagi and K.Radhakrishnan )

Radhakrishnan

I was born amidst the heap of money,
It was stuffed in our house in nooks and corners any,
People came with suitcases full of currency,
My dad accepted those bribes merrily.

Thus I was born with a silver spoon in mouth,
Loved by my parents, nothing was in drouth,
I was decked in gold when I was a year old,
I had so much I could not even hold.

When I was three, I got a tricycle,
On reaching seven it was replaced by bicycle,
When I was in High school, I got a shining bike,
I rode it all places wherever I did like.

When I entered college, I got brand new Audi,
To fulfill my wishes, my parents were ever ready,
But all those glitter of pelf didn’t spoil me,
I remained a good boy and money didn’t make me crappy.

I excelled in studies and passed with merits,
Though untold wealth I would inherit,
Left my city to join a lucrative job assignment,
There my dad bought me a luxurious apartment.

This story is so boring, you may complain,
All goes well and there is no twist or turn,
This is so bland and there is no thrill or fun,
But have patience, the story has just begun,

A job offer came from France,
That’s a dream job, in elation I did dance,
Indeed it was a great chance,
To garner fame, money and romance.

I accepted the offer with glee,
They wanted our family’s medical history,
I returned to Bhopal to get the papers happily,
Here begins my tale of stormy sea,

There were three bundles of papers,
All neatly tied in colored cloth wrappers,
The red one contained documents of property,
The green bundle had dad’s business papers put properly,

The white bundle had family’s medical papers,
X’rays, sonographies all in yellow wrappers,
Two such envelopes caught my attention,
Here my so far happy life took a turn’

Both envelopes had sonography reports,
Reading the contents inside tore my heart,
Written in code words I could decipher,
My eyes rained tears like a geyser.

Marked with F 00.45 and F 00.40, obviously the age,
The years were marked 1965 and 1967 in those pages,
To top it all the words “U SPENT”
Meaning the uterus has been cleared with intent.

The revelation had thrown me off the gears,
The foetus of my two sisters were killed in those years,
Those naked facts pierced me like thousand spears,
Oh!! my soul was cut in to pieces by shears.

How can my parents murder my two elder sisters?
The very thought gave me blisters,
Oh!! How can they resort to female foeticide!!
For want of a male child, they did my two sisters homicide!!

Nutan

On their deathbed
they built for me this whole empire I was their vampire
in their blood drinking in my own desires
For want of a son
they killed my two loving sisters
In whose love I would have grown
in their legacy to live
to love and be nurtured

But this was the cruel truth of life
A blow dealt which such strife
My whole world destroyed
In front of my eyes
In my pyre
I could see myself burning alive
As they cried dear brother
we love you with our life
In you we live to see our own life

That day my life died

My whole life denied
Burnt to cinders
ashamed
dead
before my eyes

I couldn’t lift myself
For days
I struggled with myself
Finding answers
to questions
that had no meaning left
I lay wondering
thinking
Had I been them
My fate
would I have been
inked
in the blood
of their fate
Life had left me
with no recourse
Broken I lay
Locked within
Breaking in

What a day
it stole my thunder …my life laments 😢
my parents blunder
How could they
kill my two sisters
For want of a son
My life surrender
on their bodies
their wealth
to plunder

It was they
who deserved
to be its heirs
Not me

I was made to lie
on their lair
Burnt in fun fare
The fire
which took them
Without a care
A life to live
gone in despair
Murdered in their foetus
Waiting to be born
In smiles
my two dear sisters
to hold me
in their arms
But fate took a turn
In them to never return

Killed in the womb

What was their worth
To build for me
a hearth
On their very earth

My whole life shook
the earth pulled
Beneath my feet
It hurt
‘Why were my parents
so keen
to have ME
unmindful of them
Distressed I lay thinking
Why wasn’t it me
Because they were just girls
Because I was their BOY
They worshipped me
in their death
to be born against me
sired in their love
A love that was
NOT meant
for them
but me

My whole world stopped
I hated to be
The cause of their death
Their curse in me
This thought plagued me
Day and night
I just couldn’t resolve within me
The more I thought the more it drew me
Into an abyss fallen in the dungeon built around me
A hollow sound ringing within me
My whole world
slammed
A sham
Shrunk
it lay
in shambles
Before
me

Radhakrishnan

I was blown away and stuck in a dumb daze,
Thinking how could my parents stoop so low in wicked ways,
Terminated foetuses continued to haunt me day and night,
Endless suffering of my soul from life long spite.

Thoughts of my sisters brought bottomless sorrows,
Wishing not to remain alive to see next morrow,
What worthy life have I built to live!!!
Oh, my beloved sisters, my parents cruelty, please forgive.

I was in a state of deep depression,
The thoughts haunt to kill my brain,
Oh, why I had this life at my sisters cost?
Without them in my life, my life is better lost.

I encountered my parents with evidence,
Soul so dead, they didn’t gave the matter much relevance,
They were silent averting their eyes,
I could see not trace of guilt in their eyes.

Nutan

She was always there away from me
my sisters in me to be
for they’re my love
I was not their me
in me to be with them
my me

everyday I thought of them to be that life with me , with them in me
but were THEY
this thought took me away from me
as I ridiculed me in thoughts which grew
each day more perverse in me

Why did my parents kill them for me
why wasn’t I enough
why were THEY not ME
what if I was them
would they have killed me

this thought plagued me
until I couldn’t see the life
that lay in front of me
too bare for me to see kill me
until I couldn’t rest anymore
away from my parents
I left the shore
to France
I went to forget my own
to live a life no more
my own not mine anymore
but my past would invade me
just wouldn’t go ..
off me …
I turned to life
unable to trust
why life had not
favoured me …killed me for them
to savour me …leave me without them disable me …unable me

Their thought lived in me day and night …
a thought that held me so tight …
in its plight till I could live no more ..no more to slight ..my right

Radhakrishnan

From Paris I returned to my hometown,
Still in miseries I couldn’t help but drown,
(Married a Hindi speaking French girl
With her to bear two kids )
My wife and kids tried to cheer me up,
But nothing could lift me from gloom and grief.

My kids suggested to celebrate the birthday,
Of my sisters who could not see the light of the day,
We had birthday bash with cake and candles,
Some temporary relief for my life in shambles.

On returning home I paid homage to my sisters,
With folded hands and kneeling down before their pictures,
I garlanded their under developed structures,
Have a glimpse at their pictures.

Nutan

Every year this was a ritual we performed
Lifting me from my gloomy spirits
In their love to fill my every want
As they grew closer to me
To feel them finally living in me
a part of me
My life now felt complete
In their love my love to seek
my love in me to keep
A life which felt my own
with them never to be alone forever own
Never DISOWN

For finally
we had come
Home

Copyright- Nutan Sarawagi and K.Radhakrishnan

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Infinite Spiritual Beings

What makes my soul, I ponder,

Did it exist before attached to my body,I wonder,

I just gaze in to the space and let my mind wander,

Scriptures tell me that the soul is immortal.

My soul witnesses whatever I think and act,

Even if body perishes, soul will be alive, it’s a fact,

Love, compassion, joy and harmony,

My soul holds all these for eternity.

Our eternal soul is the piece of the divine,

To experience life, in my body it did align,

We are all travelers in a cosmic journey,

Out to dive in to the whirlpools of infinity.

The soul assists human body to win life’s tourney,

Helping us score good points in our temporary journey,

The good points we score are love, respect and empathy,

These points will be etched in people’s memory.

The soul will teach kindness of rhythm in our journey,

For the soul alone knows the geography of our destiny,

The rhythm of soul is always present with us all,

Not aligning with rhythm of soul is the cause of our fall.

If life is a concert, the soul enthrall us all,

This rhythm of soul ensures divinity in us all,

We are spiritual beings with temporary human experience,

Let our limited life be one that is glorious.

© K.Radhakrishnan

Home is a Soul

A palace with a golden dome,
Would it make a haven or sweet home?
Here lives a king without his queen,
Life has lost its bliss and sheen.

Bleeding hearts in broken homes,
In to a palace a lonely heart roams,
Rattling memories and hollow bones,
Kind hearts turned in to stones.

Homes are built in each others hearts,
Where affection dwells in their thoughts,
Where music of bliss is heard in all parts,
It is a place where fairy tale starts.

Home is a feeling not a pin-coded location,
Where our heart and soul feel pleasant sensation,
Here the family lives with utmost devotion,
For every problem, together they find a solution.

Souls cemented together with bonds of affection,
At every struggle, we can feel love and its reflection,
Where blissful hearts can live in protection,
With near and dear ones, we can make soul connection.
© K.Radhakrishnan

Nocturnal Opera

Nocturnal opera was in full swing,

Coos, caws and hoots of our friends with wings,

In nature’s dawn to dusk soundtrack,

An anthem sung by maestros of nature in playback.

 

The cricket provided droning background music,

A bubbly whistle of invisible artist gave some kicks,

A ballad in mellowed tone rendered by nightingale,

In between, blood- curdling screeches of tawny owl.

 

Snorts and snuffles of frogs as they met to mate,

The rhythmic rasps of cicadas that linger late,

From tree top, a nightjar made ringing sound of an anklet,

I shivered, fearing of a ghost, wrapped in my blanket

 

Hearing all those songs in Nature’s nocturnal theater,

I was thrilled and amazed, in all aflutter,

More melodies by unidentified artists with wings,

Oh, how sweetly those winged nocturnal angels sing!!

© K.Radhakrishnan

My Fickle Mind

Predictably unpredictable is my fickle mind,

It always gets beguiled as to be so blind,

Believes the faces and not the souls behind,

Even after leaving sixty plus years behind!!!

 

It is always in a state of confusion,

Jumping frequently in to wrong conclusion,

Sans purpose, it changes direction,

Then regrets on its wrong selection.

 

Restlessly searching for mirages in its wander,

Confused at the crossroads of diverging future,

Carrying the load of boundless desires,

It does not know what the soul aspires.

 

In the dreary haze of remote possibilities,

Feeling the wrench of harsh realities,

My mind consoles itself at its own imbecilities,

Always blaming the outside entities.

 

I hear the tickle of my mind as it murmurs in ear,

I dance to its tune and sacrifice my sagacity here,

The soul’s serene music is impossible for me to hear,

The fickleness of mind is that we all have to fear.

© K.Radhakrishnan

 

Moment When Enlightenment Surges

Pave your own path and start walking,

Even when you are the subject of mocking,

Leave your footprints in the sands of time,

Bask forever in the sunlight of prime.

 

Have the courage to follow your soul’s reason,

Focus on soul guided actions with firm resolution,

Feel the harmony that emerges from your inner being,

Raise above the mind induced feelings.

 

Let your river of unbiased knowledge surge ahead,

Dissolving the impurity of ego on its stead,

To meet the vast ocean of universal consciousness,

Enlightened soul emerges in all prominence.

 

The inner light of soul radiates from the peaceful ocean,

That blinds are crazy emotions and whimsical notions,

There you meet your inner self and merge,

This is the moment when enlightenment surges.

 

When conflict does not form basis for biased thought,

In the cobwebs of prejudices when you are not caught,

When we live in the light of the soul,

We are enlightened beings in whole.

© K.Radhakrishnan

Poetry-A Splendorous Sustenance

Like precious pearls put together in a necklace to wear,

Poetry lovingly composed bringing forth its sweet flavor,

Savoring the poetic bliss, I want to be a willing martyr,

When I smell the words that wind carried to me from afar.

 

I am a dog that can sniff poetry’s aroma from a distance,

Call me a vampire who savors poetry as sustenance,

Craving for poetic diet never ceases and soul yearns more,

Poetic recipe of rhyme and rhythm is all I crave to savor.

 

I inhale and exhale the poetry for sustaining my breath,

Here I am both, a glutton and a chef,

As thoughts cooked in to exquisite words fills my plate,

I feel as if I am nearing the paradise’s gate.

 

Words from the soul is poured in to poetry,

Voracious devouring of its rhythmic symmetry,

Like the soul to the body, poetry is engrained in me,

Poetry is like nutrient, a means of sustenance for me.

© K.Radhakrishnan

A Way With Words

Some blurt out torrents of verbal diarrhoea,

Some words come out of mental myopia,

Some are sweet like honey ambrosia,

Some use it to paint the picture of dystopia.

Some wield it like a sword to scourge people,

Some thoughtfully use to make others gleeful,

Intentions of some are to use it to purpose deceitful,

They can be a sweet nectar or dart dipped in poison lethal.

Some words come from depth of the heart,

Some read our verses and say it is beautiful art,

Some emit words distastefully like a stinky fart,

Some comes out as excuse after committing some tort.

Ah, I greedily swallow the saccharine words,

Believing it is true till my spirit affords,

But it tore my heart like hungry bird,

And I suffered aches lashed by vocal chords.

 

Some words blocked the light of my day,

So hurtful, hard to forget and put away,

Words!!, some of them end life’s mirth and play,

But none thinks twice before what words to say.

Words!!, no dearth of them, always in plenty,

But words tends to become more often empty,

But sweeter they are, and tempt you and me,

But, very few have kept the words, it puzzles me.

 

Wise and thoughtful words of tongue or pen,

Can light a fire in the minds of women or men,

Words!!, even from hardest hearts they can wring tears,

Words are twisted to form any shape, that is my fear.

Use words of love and care that can endear,

Not the ones that attracts more words of jeer,

Words, just one vowel and five letters,

Can lift your spirits and free your soul from fetters.

© K.Radhakrishnan