Author Archives: Anoucheka

I don’t think I love you anymore

I don't think I love you anymore
Whatever love was there,
Has been killed, torn into
Nothingness, by your own will
And now
I keep gaping at clouds
Wondering about when
Shall they rain on me
The dew drops of Death's
Longing for me!

I don't think I love you anymore,
As,
The number of times that you
Have hurt me
Have reached their limits
And I guess
I am fed up with everything!

My aim on Earth is now of
No purpose
And I would ask you
To pray, together with me,
For the skies to hear
That I seek my freedom
From the soils of Earth!

But still, I hate you not
And I resent you not
As in essence
I am made to be un-loveable,
Diseased and dark,
Living in reclusion and shadows
And aware that my peace
Lies in the arms of Death!

I don't think I love you anymore
And if it be so
I guess it must be God's will
Acting over me
As He paints in me
Life, as He chooses it to be for me
And maybe
The pain that I feel
Is merely a way to allow me
To be cleansed of my negative
Karmic energy!

I don't think I love you anymore
And I know you must be relieved
As you never could love me back
Since I am
A damaged doll
Having had my pieces sewn here and there
And stitched in other places, trying to make 
Myself look as glamorous as would be
A new one on the market!

I seek to find my peace,
And I hope to find it in something
Other than in penning poetry,
As, I had thought I could see it you
But then,
You made it clear that you are not
That which I thought you were!

I don't think I love you anymore
The world is vast,
Even if it is dying
And as long as the Gods
Would will me to live
I guess I shall find enough
Space for myself as not to bother you
And make you feel my presence around!

It’s the end of the world

It's the end of the world 
And I would happily
Trade in my life
With anyone afflicted
Who still have dreams
And goals
To accomplish
As
For me
This world has failed
To prove
That it has anything
Credible and worthwhile
About it !

It's the end of the world
People are dying by the
Thousands
As if they were bees
Being fumigated in crop fields
Or
Ants being flooded
With hot and boiling water!

Yet,
Our human instinct
Pushes us to cling on to
Living in denied truth;
This world is and will never be
Of any use to us!

We live it as if we were fools
Choosing to indulge in its pleasures
While they stealthily lead us
To our decrepit
And then
Someday
We just feel the breath blow itself
Out of us
And we get pushed somewhere else
Unable to even find some
Strength to look back at what
We are leaving behind!

It's the end of the world
And I have seen through its games
I care not to prove myself to it
As it has failed to prove itself to me
It's the end of the world
And I would happily trade in my life
With anyone afflicted
Who still has dreams and goals
To accomplish here!

Fallaciousness of life

The Ego and the Pride
That humanity holds to itself
Makes no sense!

See, today, the human face
Is all supple and glowing
The human skin
Firm and strong
And the human body
Beautiful and lean
And tomorrow,
Let alone be all diseased and
Grim looking
Why, it simply ceases to be
Turned into remnants of ash
Not even visible with the eyes!

Here, a world it is,
Relying upon a cyclic movement
Water is constantly turning into vapour
And vapour is constantly turning into clouds
Clouds, which are constantly pouring back as water
Humans, similarly,
Come and go
With the exception that their life span
Is much longer than those droplets of water!

No emotion is to be attached to one another
No love is to be felt,
No hurt is to be endorsed
No remorse to be hanging on our hearts
And no judgements are to be made
Upon any one of us!
What matters remain the carrying out of our duties
To the skies and to the ruling power
As diligently as did will our birthrights!

Bother not about those who act not like us
Or, who cannot even understand the depth
Of our consciousness
Shed not any tears at the hate words they hurl
At our insight
Live, rather
Live, every single day that the skies
Allow you to
Live with the pull of that little voice
Which guides your thoughts, your choices,
Your words and your actions
As that voice
Belongs not to you
But has been sent to you
From those same powers
Who willed you your life!

If we Be!

If we were to sew a connecting bond
Between the heart of each of our hearts,
Why,
I would make it a duty,
As long as I would be able to,
To look into your eyes each night
And search for the moon in them!

I would make sure that my flowers
Would bloom,
Ever ready for you to be plucked
And watered,
Merely to adorn your garden
With their grace, their humility,
Their fragrance and their uniqueness!

I would whisper poems to your lips
As to wake in you
That God whom you once were
Potent enough as to conquer
Worlds ridden with giant snakes
Having mouths as big as the universe itself!

I would have you drowning in my scent
So much that you would forget about everything else
And care solely to inhale me
As if
I were an opiate
And you,
An addict;
Mine own, withdrawn when away from me
And ecstatic only when I am around!

Why,
I would seal secrets on your soul
So that the blood flowing in your veins
Remain aware that this earthly life
Is merely a temporary duty
And that somehow, someday,
We shall sprout again, like fresh blooms,
There where it all started!
There,
I shall look you in the eyes,
And say,
I loved you even when you thought
I would not be able to!

If we were to be,
I would be a child,
Throwing tantrums when you look not my way
Shedding tears merely to have you wipe them away
With your lips
And seeking your attention
With the need of one who is feeling the joy
Of it,
After having been denied of it for a lifetime!

Why,
If we were to be,
I would dig into your soul
And bury mine in yours
So that
We remain tangled to each other
In all of the lives that the skies
Would will us!

The Celestial Deal

We could strike a deal
Said the ruler of the skies!
Oh yes we could,
If only you would abide,
But you remain stubborn
Bent on your emotions
As if these ruled you
Instead of us!

We seek your purity,
Your innocence, your inner beauty,
Your humility,
Your soulful fragrance,
Your existential dance,
Your magical consciousness,
Why,
We seek your love,
For ourselves!

The world is difficult to walk on
The world is ridden with traps
Hiding venomous snakes,
All wanting to bring you to a fall
Whereby you will not fly over the divine
But will crawl in the murkiness of mundane dirt!

We seek your love,
As we have found in you,
That which we have not in others;
Clearness of intention,
And deep ardor to worship us!

Pray, be patient with Earth,
She revolves upon our whims,
Be patient,
Like her,
Walk on, avoid the traps
Live according to our say
And you shall earn the other part of the deal;
A flowery garden filled with fairies and elves
All for you!

Here, you shall worry not,
Here, you shall struggle not,
Nor shall you shed bloody tears,
Nor shall you feel inhabited by misery
Rather,
You shall feel as soothed
As would be a baby in its mother’s embrace!

Why, forget about everything else
Earth is not real
Earth, rather,
Is inhabited by darkness and shadows,
Always so ready to ensnare you!

I shall abide, said I in a whisper
After all, my life does not belong to me
And never shall it do so!
I shall abide,
As you remain the power to play me
As if I were a lifeless puppet
I shall abide
And I do choose
To close my eyes
To the fake flowers of Earth
While waiting
To see you!

Tugged!

The skies tug at my consciousness
Wanting me to be aware of their presence
The skies tease me,
Wanting to test the depth of my belief in them!

Why,
To the skies do I say thus,
To you I do belong,
It has been so since the moment
You graced me with your touch
Ready am I,
Ready to shed off my mortal body,
Just to be there with you,
Involved in doing whatever it is
That you do!

This world pleases me not
Most of the times,
I find none who can understand me
None who can soothe me!
Rather,
All seek to use and abuse,
Or to mock and play with,
As if,
All I were,
Was a doll,
Half naked,
Smiling at all times
And made of desires!

Of the skies’ tests I am a regular
In them do I build my strength,
And my love for their power!

Pray, my wings are tired of flying me around
Uselessly
I seek to shed them off
And be surrounded by clouds,
And the comfort of God
At all times
So that the child in me
Would just laugh and play,
Worrying about nothing else!

Departing

Winds surge up
As violently as they would
In the world’s biggest typhoon!

Winds surge up
And carry me away
As if I were a mere dried up leaf
Cracked on all sides
Too weak to even fight their strength!

As I move away,
I look back
With teary eyes
At everything that I was leaving behind
Feeling as heavy as would a child
Watching her parents leave for work
After having spent a cajoling weekend together!

Why, in a realm where even my body
Does belong not to me
Why should I even allow myself to shed tears
Over all that which I wanted
But which never happened?

It is best to look in front of me
And see that to which the winds push me,
The higher powers,
Their living altars,
Their magic and their might,
Their purity and their divinity!

After all, maybe the winds have been sent
To allow me to shed off the veil
Covering my eyes
The veil of feminine love
The veil which did whatever it could
To hurt me
As if it were a hammer and my body
The surface to plant in nails of all sizes!

Maybe I shall be, happy, at last,
There where the winds blow me
Maybe, there is where I belong
As I remained a misfit in this life
Maybe,
There,
My life will be mine
And I shall see meaning and purpose
In Existing!

Our Story

I remain the dew and you, the flower
I remain the nectar and you, the bee
I remain Consciousness and you, Existence
I remain an exiled Goddess and you, my saviour,
The God who chose to renounce of everything
To attempt to bring my soul back
To there where we loved
And enjoyed each other
As if,
We were,
The grain and the soil,
The seed and the fruit,
The river source and the ocean
Why,
Beings, in the end,
So totally in love with each other
That nothing else mattered
Except the fulfilling of our love tugs!

Pray, and in this life,
I remain yours
To break into millions of pieces
Or to be made to bloom
I remain yours
Even if I will hide my pain
Even if I will choose to pretend
That everything else is fine

I remain yours,
As such has been willed to me
By the skies
And abiding to their will
Is my utmost and genuine duty!

Human life is transitory
It passes off from one stage to another
Human bodies die and decrepit
While our essence shall have to flow back!

Pray, I remain the pen
And you, my blank page
I remain the poetess
And you, my muse
I remain in love
Even if you, not!

Already broken by life,
I thought not that you would do so too!
Already unloved by the rest of the world
I thought not that you would push me off too
Still,
I remain,
Yours,
To break, to play with, to mend,
Or even to kill and to cause to cease to exist
As,
Such has been willed to me!

I remain, though, submissive to my fate
I remain as dutiful and virtuous as would be
A Goddess incarnate
I remain the alcohol and you the drinker
I remain the cigarette and you the smoker
I remain
As long as the skies would want me to
Delay not
I wish it not that it be too late!

Death gapes

Death gapes at me
While I pretend to be not aware
Of its bulky presence!

Death grins
Knowing that sooner or later,
I shall definitely be in its grips!

Death does know not though
Of how much in love I am with it
Why,
It is the only medium
Through which
I shall cease to be curse
It is the only medium
Through which
I shall no more be a self imposed burden!

Death is,
As it has always been for me,
Ever since I begot the awakening of an adult
The only release that would be able to soothe me,
The only carriage which would allow me
To drift to there where seas are made of ambrosia
And living centers around jolliness!

Death gapes,
While chuckling to itself
Of how much of an intruder it is,
A peeper, a pervert even
While
Knowing not
That it is,
In the very end,
My lover,
The only one whose embrace
I yearn for
The only one whose embrace
Shall be not for me,
A sin!

Only as a woman in love

I have secrets to disclose to you
I have riddles to be solved in you
I have tunes to be played for you
Poems to be read out loud
Prayers to be said
Bells to be rung
And a life to be lived with you!

My soul is ready,
It has been so since the day
It was whispered of its essence!

My heart, though bleeding,
Is also ready
It yearns to be cupped in your hands
And to be kissed with the passion
Of a gentleman in love!

My body, bloomed,
Is pining,
Lamenting,
As would the empty seashore be
On a full moon night!

I have eternity to show to you
I shall breathe it out
Only if you would give me the opportunity to!

I have been trying
I have been trying as hard as toddlers do
When they scream for toys
I have been trying as hard as a woman in love would
Yet,
Should you not pay heed,
Know that I shall crumble under the burden
Of the curse that my fate would become!