Author Archives: Anoucheka

Our Story

I remain the dew and you, the flower
I remain the nectar and you, the bee
I remain Consciousness and you, Existence
I remain an exiled Goddess and you, my saviour,
The God who chose to renounce of everything
To attempt to bring my soul back
To there where we loved
And enjoyed each other
As if,
We were,
The grain and the soil,
The seed and the fruit,
The river source and the ocean
Why,
Beings, in the end,
So totally in love with each other
That nothing else mattered
Except the fulfilling of our love tugs!

Pray, and in this life,
I remain yours
To break into millions of pieces
Or to be made to bloom
I remain yours
Even if I will hide my pain
Even if I will choose to pretend
That everything else is fine

I remain yours,
As such has been willed to me
By the skies
And abiding to their will
Is my utmost and genuine duty!

Human life is transitory
It passes off from one stage to another
Human bodies die and decrepit
While our essence shall have to flow back!

Pray, I remain the pen
And you, my blank page
I remain the poetess
And you, my muse
I remain in love
Even if you, not!

Already broken by life,
I thought not that you would do so too!
Already unloved by the rest of the world
I thought not that you would push me off too
Still,
I remain,
Yours,
To break, to play with, to mend,
Or even to kill and to cause to cease to exist
As,
Such has been willed to me!

I remain, though, submissive to my fate
I remain as dutiful and virtuous as would be
A Goddess incarnate
I remain the alcohol and you the drinker
I remain the cigarette and you the smoker
I remain
As long as the skies would want me to
Delay not
I wish it not that it be too late!

Death gapes

Death gapes at me
While I pretend to be not aware
Of its bulky presence!

Death grins
Knowing that sooner or later,
I shall definitely be in its grips!

Death does know not though
Of how much in love I am with it
Why,
It is the only medium
Through which
I shall cease to be curse
It is the only medium
Through which
I shall no more be a self imposed burden!

Death is,
As it has always been for me,
Ever since I begot the awakening of an adult
The only release that would be able to soothe me,
The only carriage which would allow me
To drift to there where seas are made of ambrosia
And living centers around jolliness!

Death gapes,
While chuckling to itself
Of how much of an intruder it is,
A peeper, a pervert even
While
Knowing not
That it is,
In the very end,
My lover,
The only one whose embrace
I yearn for
The only one whose embrace
Shall be not for me,
A sin!

Only as a woman in love

I have secrets to disclose to you
I have riddles to be solved in you
I have tunes to be played for you
Poems to be read out loud
Prayers to be said
Bells to be rung
And a life to be lived with you!

My soul is ready,
It has been so since the day
It was whispered of its essence!

My heart, though bleeding,
Is also ready
It yearns to be cupped in your hands
And to be kissed with the passion
Of a gentleman in love!

My body, bloomed,
Is pining,
Lamenting,
As would the empty seashore be
On a full moon night!

I have eternity to show to you
I shall breathe it out
Only if you would give me the opportunity to!

I have been trying
I have been trying as hard as toddlers do
When they scream for toys
I have been trying as hard as a woman in love would
Yet,
Should you not pay heed,
Know that I shall crumble under the burden
Of the curse that my fate would become!

Death Smiles

Death smiles

While Life watches on,

Stonily!

Death smiles

And I,

Broken and trodden,

Feel attracted to its warmth

Feeling as if

I were as insecure as a toddler

Desperately wanting to cling on

To that which I can feel safe with!

Death smiles

Amidst the seasons,

Amidst the uncaring attitude of humans,

Who realize not that the ego to which

They hold on to

Does not even belong to them!

Death smiles,

And I,

Feeling pulled,

Reaches out to it

As if it were the shore

While I am in a sinking ship!

Pray, after all,

Death does be engraved on our souls,

If it be the portal which would allow me

To see if I was right in choosing to grope on to faith

In a world which revolved around false pleasures

Then,

May I reach it!

Maelstrom

The river water flows submissively on its chosen course
Flowers dance to the tunes of the winds
And the entire mass of forest lands
Breathe in and out as per their created limits!

And I,
Can only sit and let my tears flow
As life as have been willed upon me
Remains harsh
And love as have been chosen for me
Remains aloof!

Pray, I had initially sought out the peace
Of ceasing to existing
Such would have been to me
As melting as are violin tunes
When played they are on a mystical note!

But it would seem that my soul has not suffered enough
It would seem that its previous sins
Are too burdensome
As to have me granted my own personal key
To that realm which is home to those subtle powers
Governing me
There where living remains unconceivable to the human mind!

I wish I could be like the river, like the flowers
Like the mass of rainforests
I wish I could be strong enough to endure it all
But I remain as fragile as is moist sand
And Life keeps trampling on me
From all sides,
Breaking me back into what I was once,
A mere piece of shattered mess,
A sinful being, a burden,
A lump of mud,
Meant not to be given any sort of worth!

Pray, I hold on to existing
As such is what I am expected to do
Waiting, thirsting, pining,
For when that which has been promised to me
By those subtle powers,
To manifest itself
Thereby giving me another reason
To celebrate the might of the Gods
With enough verve in me
As to move the whole cosmos to tears!

I am not river water,
I am not flower
I am made of a beating heart,
Of sensitivity and of fragility
The agony of my fate hurts me
And I, for one,
Find it hard to accept everything
That has been chosen for me!

Love Matters

The prickly fingertips of the wind
Play all over my body
Bruising me
Chilling me
As if,
They knew that there were mighty
Having us humans
Being so small faced with them!

Still, both of our origins are same
Both of our meanings are mysterious
Yet, when faced with the forces of those gales
We can only run for shelter
And warmth
As we remain tiny ants
And they can blow us
As easily as would a skilled trumpeteer
Master the most complex musical composition!

Amidst this hurly burly of cold aches
There lies,
In my heart,
A garden,
Kept secret and peaceful
Enjoying, always
An eternal spring
People by Gods, Goddesses, fairies,
Myself and the one chosen by the skies for me!

There, love hurts not,
Love, rather,
Becomes the free flowing ambrosia
Needed to allow my inner cosmos
To sustain itself!

There, love is not conditional
Not even ruled by restrictions of any sort
There, love thrives
As if it were life,
Enacted in a calm water pond!

There, I become a nymph
Ready to battle with whoever would dare me to
But willingly falling on my knees
When the chosen one approaches
Submissively clipping off my wings
And shedding off my crown
Because
Love matters
Specially when willed it has been
By those subtle powers ruling the cosmos!

There, the fingertips of the gales
Touch me not
There, I burn,
With enough heat as to keep my garden alive
There, I rule
Humbly, by the side of Love
As if,
Sustaining this world, sustaining ourselves
And our story
Was all that mattered!

Heed me!

My drive is pulled from the skies’ will
Wishing to be the only one to enjoy
The warmth of your embrace
The only one to taste of your human essence
The only one to whom you shall look at
With needy tugs spitting forth sparkles in your eyes
The only one to whom
You shall open the gates of your secret garden
And allow to play
As would a fairy, entranced,
By the melodies your soul sing of
At the reciprocal ecstasy we both feel
At having met with each other
On the soils of an Earth we both fell in
Merely for the sake of our love story!

Pray, living hurts,
At least away from you it does
Living hurts
As chilly winds do on cold wintery nights
Living hurts
As aches do when they prick at our bones
Living hurts
As lonely hearts do
When yearning they are, to be filled
Solely with the desires, the seeds, the feverish show
Of their lovers!

Pray, Love,
I have no other aim in this life
Other than living for you
And dying with you
So as to be back there
Where it all started
And where we are much awaited!

I would tell you of it someday,
I know I would,
As the elements dance everywhere around me
Bidding me to be patient!

I would tell you of it all
As I would sway
Feverishly
In your burning bed
As entranced
As would be a cobra
With its charmer!

Pray, Love,
You remain a God,
Mine own,
Fallen in a world which you belong not!

The clock is ticking
The Gods are waiting
And I, a mere puppet played solely by you,
Am agonising!

Heal me,
With the tenderness that you hide
In between walls
Which supposedly exist between you and me!

The Bells of Shame

The bells of shame

Have made themselves seen to me

Through their dark and corrupted colour!

The bells of shame

Repulsed the angels

So much that the latter

Could not even sing odes to my love!

The bells,

Craving to celebrate the pure and the just

Made themselves heard

So loudly

That the whole cosmos shuddered in fright

At their frenzy

The whole cosmos

Except me!

Pray,

Of those bells do I simply make a bundle

A bundle which I decorate with flowers

A bundle which I throw into the fires of time

So as to be forgotten

For,

Forever!

After all, the bells of shame ring not for me

Rather, they seem to me,

To be like distant dreams

Or nightmares,

Meant to be blown away with a smile!

The bells ringing for me

Are those emanating from the origin of things

Yes, there where love was decided

There where love was drowned in deep eyes

There where love clung on frantically to stoicism

Merely to melt into breathless convulsions

To impregnate in my soul

The need to be true and pure

And overwhelmed

For as long as Existence shall deem!

The bells of shame ring on still though

At the right time,

They shall catch up with the ashamed

Merely to look at their souls

And to have lies

Said out loud!

Between Life and Death

Is it that Life moves on
Being so in love with Death?

Is it that it works in unison with
The scorcher of happiness
Wanting solely
To see it win
At the end of everything
So like a subtle lover
Feeling happy only when its beloved
Has,
In itself,
An ecstatic tempo rushing through it?

Pray, amidst this love duet
Between those two powers
That rule over me
I can only feel trapped
And insginificant,
As would be a particle of dust
In the vast atmosphere!

Why, if Life be in love with Death
Then does it need me
To keep its lover in glee?

Pray, then, wonder I
Does life even care about me
Does life even see about my own feelings
Does it even care to make me as ecstatic
As it strives to for its own lover?

After all, I remain a child of Life
Yet,
Without my agony, without my suffering heart
Without my frightened self,
Would it not reach its end?

Like me, there remains millions and millions
Of others,
All children bearing the same DNA
All subject to Life’s moods and Death’s blows!

Why, whisper I to the silence engulfing me
You shall eventually reach your end, Life
While doing so,
Allow my beating heart to bloom into a
Pure and unique flower
Tended and well cared for
At the hands of my own gardener!

Like you, I swivel in love
Like you, I seek my soothe
Like you, I desire to be ecstatic while
Making my lover overjoyed!

Like you, I remain at love’s mercy
Like you, I have no power over my feelings
Like you, I just move on
Minding not my scars
Minding not my torn up pieces
Minding not the agony that you thrust at me
As,
In the end,
I remain grateful to have been touched by you!

This Last Life

This last life
Is truly worth all its due!
To live it shall I
As would a Queen,
Glowing and majestic
Feared and obeyed!

This last life
Shall be all that I shall ever have
To feel the many puzzles of Existence
As they play with all of my senses
From the most human ones
To the most spiritual ones!

Why, this last life shall be a lesson
A lesson to be used as example
For those who can hear not
The celestial music
Played from those abodes
Which only a few, deemed as fools,
Choose to believe in!

Pray, in this last life,
I shall make sure
To outlive even Earth herself
Through the words of agony
That make their best efforts
To cure my soul of the ills
That ruminate in me!

In this last life,
I shall outlive myself
Through the mysteries that I keep
Everywhere, in all that surrounds me,
As riddles which would be solved
Upon my commands!

In this last life,
I shall be sung, as the hymn of love
The hymn sung by the rest of humankind
The hymn which can turn so loud at times
That it can instantly destroy the sensitivity
Of my eardrums,
While being so soft at others,
So soft as to melt my heart
To vulnerable softness!

Why, this last life,
Is certainly not meant to be fretted for
Lived it should be
As laden with the most eccentric
Lived it should be
As accompanied with that which pleasures me
Lived it should be
As I want to!

As this last life,
Is just like a book,
Read and read, the pages turned and turned
Only to reach its last chapter, ending with
‘The End!