Author Archives: Anoucheka

The Celestial Deal

We could strike a deal
Said the ruler of the skies!
Oh yes we could,
If only you would abide,
But you remain stubborn
Bent on your emotions
As if these ruled you
Instead of us!

We seek your purity,
Your innocence, your inner beauty,
Your humility,
Your soulful fragrance,
Your existential dance,
Your magical consciousness,
Why,
We seek your love,
For ourselves!

The world is difficult to walk on
The world is ridden with traps
Hiding venomous snakes,
All wanting to bring you to a fall
Whereby you will not fly over the divine
But will crawl in the murkiness of mundane dirt!

We seek your love,
As we have found in you,
That which we have not in others;
Clearness of intention,
And deep ardor to worship us!

Pray, be patient with Earth,
She revolves upon our whims,
Be patient,
Like her,
Walk on, avoid the traps
Live according to our say
And you shall earn the other part of the deal;
A flowery garden filled with fairies and elves
All for you!

Here, you shall worry not,
Here, you shall struggle not,
Nor shall you shed bloody tears,
Nor shall you feel inhabited by misery
Rather,
You shall feel as soothed
As would be a baby in its mother’s embrace!

Why, forget about everything else
Earth is not real
Earth, rather,
Is inhabited by darkness and shadows,
Always so ready to ensnare you!

I shall abide, said I in a whisper
After all, my life does not belong to me
And never shall it do so!
I shall abide,
As you remain the power to play me
As if I were a lifeless puppet
I shall abide
And I do choose
To close my eyes
To the fake flowers of Earth
While waiting
To see you!

Tugged!

The skies tug at my consciousness
Wanting me to be aware of their presence
The skies tease me,
Wanting to test the depth of my belief in them!

Why,
To the skies do I say thus,
To you I do belong,
It has been so since the moment
You graced me with your touch
Ready am I,
Ready to shed off my mortal body,
Just to be there with you,
Involved in doing whatever it is
That you do!

This world pleases me not
Most of the times,
I find none who can understand me
None who can soothe me!
Rather,
All seek to use and abuse,
Or to mock and play with,
As if,
All I were,
Was a doll,
Half naked,
Smiling at all times
And made of desires!

Of the skies’ tests I am a regular
In them do I build my strength,
And my love for their power!

Pray, my wings are tired of flying me around
Uselessly
I seek to shed them off
And be surrounded by clouds,
And the comfort of God
At all times
So that the child in me
Would just laugh and play,
Worrying about nothing else!

Departing

Winds surge up
As violently as they would
In the world’s biggest typhoon!

Winds surge up
And carry me away
As if I were a mere dried up leaf
Cracked on all sides
Too weak to even fight their strength!

As I move away,
I look back
With teary eyes
At everything that I was leaving behind
Feeling as heavy as would a child
Watching her parents leave for work
After having spent a cajoling weekend together!

Why, in a realm where even my body
Does belong not to me
Why should I even allow myself to shed tears
Over all that which I wanted
But which never happened?

It is best to look in front of me
And see that to which the winds push me,
The higher powers,
Their living altars,
Their magic and their might,
Their purity and their divinity!

After all, maybe the winds have been sent
To allow me to shed off the veil
Covering my eyes
The veil of feminine love
The veil which did whatever it could
To hurt me
As if it were a hammer and my body
The surface to plant in nails of all sizes!

Maybe I shall be, happy, at last,
There where the winds blow me
Maybe, there is where I belong
As I remained a misfit in this life
Maybe,
There,
My life will be mine
And I shall see meaning and purpose
In Existing!

Our Story

I remain the dew and you, the flower
I remain the nectar and you, the bee
I remain Consciousness and you, Existence
I remain an exiled Goddess and you, my saviour,
The God who chose to renounce of everything
To attempt to bring my soul back
To there where we loved
And enjoyed each other
As if,
We were,
The grain and the soil,
The seed and the fruit,
The river source and the ocean
Why,
Beings, in the end,
So totally in love with each other
That nothing else mattered
Except the fulfilling of our love tugs!

Pray, and in this life,
I remain yours
To break into millions of pieces
Or to be made to bloom
I remain yours
Even if I will hide my pain
Even if I will choose to pretend
That everything else is fine

I remain yours,
As such has been willed to me
By the skies
And abiding to their will
Is my utmost and genuine duty!

Human life is transitory
It passes off from one stage to another
Human bodies die and decrepit
While our essence shall have to flow back!

Pray, I remain the pen
And you, my blank page
I remain the poetess
And you, my muse
I remain in love
Even if you, not!

Already broken by life,
I thought not that you would do so too!
Already unloved by the rest of the world
I thought not that you would push me off too
Still,
I remain,
Yours,
To break, to play with, to mend,
Or even to kill and to cause to cease to exist
As,
Such has been willed to me!

I remain, though, submissive to my fate
I remain as dutiful and virtuous as would be
A Goddess incarnate
I remain the alcohol and you the drinker
I remain the cigarette and you the smoker
I remain
As long as the skies would want me to
Delay not
I wish it not that it be too late!

Death gapes

Death gapes at me
While I pretend to be not aware
Of its bulky presence!

Death grins
Knowing that sooner or later,
I shall definitely be in its grips!

Death does know not though
Of how much in love I am with it
Why,
It is the only medium
Through which
I shall cease to be curse
It is the only medium
Through which
I shall no more be a self imposed burden!

Death is,
As it has always been for me,
Ever since I begot the awakening of an adult
The only release that would be able to soothe me,
The only carriage which would allow me
To drift to there where seas are made of ambrosia
And living centers around jolliness!

Death gapes,
While chuckling to itself
Of how much of an intruder it is,
A peeper, a pervert even
While
Knowing not
That it is,
In the very end,
My lover,
The only one whose embrace
I yearn for
The only one whose embrace
Shall be not for me,
A sin!

Only as a woman in love

I have secrets to disclose to you
I have riddles to be solved in you
I have tunes to be played for you
Poems to be read out loud
Prayers to be said
Bells to be rung
And a life to be lived with you!

My soul is ready,
It has been so since the day
It was whispered of its essence!

My heart, though bleeding,
Is also ready
It yearns to be cupped in your hands
And to be kissed with the passion
Of a gentleman in love!

My body, bloomed,
Is pining,
Lamenting,
As would the empty seashore be
On a full moon night!

I have eternity to show to you
I shall breathe it out
Only if you would give me the opportunity to!

I have been trying
I have been trying as hard as toddlers do
When they scream for toys
I have been trying as hard as a woman in love would
Yet,
Should you not pay heed,
Know that I shall crumble under the burden
Of the curse that my fate would become!

Death Smiles

Death smiles

While Life watches on,

Stonily!

Death smiles

And I,

Broken and trodden,

Feel attracted to its warmth

Feeling as if

I were as insecure as a toddler

Desperately wanting to cling on

To that which I can feel safe with!

Death smiles

Amidst the seasons,

Amidst the uncaring attitude of humans,

Who realize not that the ego to which

They hold on to

Does not even belong to them!

Death smiles,

And I,

Feeling pulled,

Reaches out to it

As if it were the shore

While I am in a sinking ship!

Pray, after all,

Death does be engraved on our souls,

If it be the portal which would allow me

To see if I was right in choosing to grope on to faith

In a world which revolved around false pleasures

Then,

May I reach it!

Maelstrom

The river water flows submissively on its chosen course
Flowers dance to the tunes of the winds
And the entire mass of forest lands
Breathe in and out as per their created limits!

And I,
Can only sit and let my tears flow
As life as have been willed upon me
Remains harsh
And love as have been chosen for me
Remains aloof!

Pray, I had initially sought out the peace
Of ceasing to existing
Such would have been to me
As melting as are violin tunes
When played they are on a mystical note!

But it would seem that my soul has not suffered enough
It would seem that its previous sins
Are too burdensome
As to have me granted my own personal key
To that realm which is home to those subtle powers
Governing me
There where living remains unconceivable to the human mind!

I wish I could be like the river, like the flowers
Like the mass of rainforests
I wish I could be strong enough to endure it all
But I remain as fragile as is moist sand
And Life keeps trampling on me
From all sides,
Breaking me back into what I was once,
A mere piece of shattered mess,
A sinful being, a burden,
A lump of mud,
Meant not to be given any sort of worth!

Pray, I hold on to existing
As such is what I am expected to do
Waiting, thirsting, pining,
For when that which has been promised to me
By those subtle powers,
To manifest itself
Thereby giving me another reason
To celebrate the might of the Gods
With enough verve in me
As to move the whole cosmos to tears!

I am not river water,
I am not flower
I am made of a beating heart,
Of sensitivity and of fragility
The agony of my fate hurts me
And I, for one,
Find it hard to accept everything
That has been chosen for me!

Love Matters

The prickly fingertips of the wind
Play all over my body
Bruising me
Chilling me
As if,
They knew that there were mighty
Having us humans
Being so small faced with them!

Still, both of our origins are same
Both of our meanings are mysterious
Yet, when faced with the forces of those gales
We can only run for shelter
And warmth
As we remain tiny ants
And they can blow us
As easily as would a skilled trumpeteer
Master the most complex musical composition!

Amidst this hurly burly of cold aches
There lies,
In my heart,
A garden,
Kept secret and peaceful
Enjoying, always
An eternal spring
People by Gods, Goddesses, fairies,
Myself and the one chosen by the skies for me!

There, love hurts not,
Love, rather,
Becomes the free flowing ambrosia
Needed to allow my inner cosmos
To sustain itself!

There, love is not conditional
Not even ruled by restrictions of any sort
There, love thrives
As if it were life,
Enacted in a calm water pond!

There, I become a nymph
Ready to battle with whoever would dare me to
But willingly falling on my knees
When the chosen one approaches
Submissively clipping off my wings
And shedding off my crown
Because
Love matters
Specially when willed it has been
By those subtle powers ruling the cosmos!

There, the fingertips of the gales
Touch me not
There, I burn,
With enough heat as to keep my garden alive
There, I rule
Humbly, by the side of Love
As if,
Sustaining this world, sustaining ourselves
And our story
Was all that mattered!

Heed me!

My drive is pulled from the skies’ will
Wishing to be the only one to enjoy
The warmth of your embrace
The only one to taste of your human essence
The only one to whom you shall look at
With needy tugs spitting forth sparkles in your eyes
The only one to whom
You shall open the gates of your secret garden
And allow to play
As would a fairy, entranced,
By the melodies your soul sing of
At the reciprocal ecstasy we both feel
At having met with each other
On the soils of an Earth we both fell in
Merely for the sake of our love story!

Pray, living hurts,
At least away from you it does
Living hurts
As chilly winds do on cold wintery nights
Living hurts
As aches do when they prick at our bones
Living hurts
As lonely hearts do
When yearning they are, to be filled
Solely with the desires, the seeds, the feverish show
Of their lovers!

Pray, Love,
I have no other aim in this life
Other than living for you
And dying with you
So as to be back there
Where it all started
And where we are much awaited!

I would tell you of it someday,
I know I would,
As the elements dance everywhere around me
Bidding me to be patient!

I would tell you of it all
As I would sway
Feverishly
In your burning bed
As entranced
As would be a cobra
With its charmer!

Pray, Love,
You remain a God,
Mine own,
Fallen in a world which you belong not!

The clock is ticking
The Gods are waiting
And I, a mere puppet played solely by you,
Am agonising!

Heal me,
With the tenderness that you hide
In between walls
Which supposedly exist between you and me!