Complete … is a word that has always intrigued me. I feel inadequate the moment I say that I have completed something.
What exactly makes you complete? There is seeking for stability, security, a sense of self esteem which is considered to fall within the conventional realm. Then there may be the seeking for perfection, even excellence. There is a constant search for a sense of being part of a structure … a social system, a family, a relationship. There is an incessant longing for feedbacks and acknowledgement for the acts that come into being through us. There may be a pursuit towards experiencing a certain role … that of a spouse, a parent, a grandparent. There are milestones we chase, gifts and approvals we aspire for and through all this we seek an experience which is consistent with the ‘logic’ of being complete. Do we find it?
Perhaps…… it is the very obsession with being complete and bringing closure to something that causes the experience of completeness to confound us.
It is the concretisation of the life experiences which keeps us deprived of being connected through the universal continuum.
No one can deny the importance of structures … material and social. They are the very medium via which one can enjoy the tangible experience of the life process. What needs to be understood is that they are ephemeral in their existence as structures and eternally connected as gradients through the story of the Universe.
How about a seeking that morphs through those roles… the one for stability, security, affiliation, approval, esteem, perfection, excellence and then just goes beyond all of this into a space less travelled? How about being inspired in a way that the unknown and unexplored feel like the friend one is looking forward to meeting? To be looking at challenges as an opportunity to experience the splendour of the process a little longer, to be enjoying darkness as it holds within its expanse the possibilities that are waiting to be unravelled, to be enjoying the pain …. physical, emotional because it heralds the coming in of a new state of being, to be in awe of the moment that connects one with the Nature’s wisdom which is way bigger than my conscious awareness ……. To be in Love …. with life ….feeling delightfully incomplete and then …. may be… be blessed in a moment with a rare feeling of having experienced the Universe……complete!!!
I am not the seeker
Neither the one sought
Dreams present no more
The sole haven for the thought.
You are no more the promise of a better world
Nor do you exist as my better half
As there is nothing better that I ask for,
nothing better be offered on my behalf.
When dreams and thoughts merge into One,
When the one purpose of the universe is alive
in every step one takes; in every movement one makes,
When roles join hands to melt into One,
When every breath takes in the pain of eternity
and every act gives out the gift of immortality,
When the reality of evolution is the only tangible truth,
When beliefs stand vindicated in service of the One,
When the mind rises in an act of one embrace
With the munificent nature that stands as One
There is no one to love as there is no one left out,
In gratitude of one existence I become the One……….
That state of being
As if not being at all;
Is an answer to a calling
Or in itself a call?
That state of being
What has never been so far
Punctuates my universe
Like its brightest star.
Then that irrevocable state
Of being but not quite
Struggles for the unknown
Hamstrung in its sight.
Then a being rebukes
Conceited even in pain
And the ‘not quite’ one is woken up
To relive and fight again.
The fight outlives all that had been.
They consummate to arrive at a new being.
This one is violent, an infernal rage
Hates what it sees and the ones seeing.
Thus born is the being that feels the pain;
Wakes up to the splendor of its blistered psyche;
With an infinite capacity to be it all
Embraces the splendor and the blisters alike.
Sings the Mother being, eternal in her call;
Holding them all to her principle chord.
The timid, the violent, the conceited and the splendid
Align with her in a divine concord.
The Opera called nature contains us all.
We all existed, exist and shall do.
Alive in each other in an answer to my call,
My dear beings, I depend on you.
………………….. Amruta Nerurkar
The Eternal Feminine
A thought was unexpressed,
The fuel was left unused,
The needs unfulfilled
And the Creator bemused.
Then She arrived,
In Her formless quintessence,
And offered her virginity
To redeem His essence.
Pregnant with the Universe
She celebrated her Man;
In a moment of deliverance
The tangible magic began.
Births and deaths followed;
He formed and reformed with probity
Secured even in those transient garbs
For his Muse promised infinity.
Today we meet Her in pain and joy
Through multiple deaths, She is Life without span
Every form is Her Labor of Love
She is the woman in every man.
As He embodies the festival of life
Giving Her a semblance in His shades Divine
Constant in Her role as the Creative Conduit
Is the Love of His life…. The Eternal Feminine.
I hope not to forget
the promise of that Need
that worked its subtle ways
through the layers of a Seed.
When ages communed
via the skein of time
she was born in the womb
of a moment sublime.
Strange are her ways
that unravel as they speak
the mystery of her existence,
brimming at its peak..
She speaks through a heartbeat,
through the pain and its cure
the conscience may be shrouded;
her Self remains pure.
Struggles evolve, get variously named;
images emerge in an enticing blaze;
minds respond to this worldly game
and carry on forever in a convenient daze.
Wants, desires, dreams, fears;
as one finds fruition, the other grapples on.
The shades are plenty, confounding are the forms.
She lives realized and yet lovelorn.
A Seed is still rooted in the womb of time
resembling the one that started it all.
As branches grow out and dimensions change,
the promise resounds and keeps growing tall.
I hope not to forget the promise of that Need
that worked its subtle ways through the layers of that seed.
If the quirks of the world beguile me out
may she be fulfilled in every deed.
…… Amruta Nerurkar