I dream I am alone in the house
and no one knows
My only friend has gone
home
If I die now
what will happen?
I do not know
No one does
My poems may suddenly glow unseen, elsewhere
for a moment
then go out
like a candle,
my wife and children cry
left behind
with nothing but God to hold on to
who was the only one who was there all along
anyway
Even while living I became insubstantial
like a ghost
My love people only saw as a joke
or convenience
I felt liquid to some or like air, I was passed on or off
People always passed me over in conversation too
or looked through me or walked right past or by
I never got the lucky break to be Amitabh
in Deewar
I wanted him as Vijay not to lose his lucky charm
his girl not to die
them to have that baby
escape, and
his mom not to hate him
his brother not to catch him, and, of course, the villain to die
But even there it didn’t take place exactly as I wanted it –
I’m that simple –
and if I had the chance I too’d have killed some people
and never regretted it
but I could not be there, at the right time
on the scene of the crime.
Rambling
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